Following LSU’s loss this past Saturday to Alabama’s Crimson Tide, avid LSU fan and senior, Chase Cobb, claims he is in utter shock over this loss for the sixth year in a row—and as a result of betting his entire house on the highly anticipated game— Chase, only 27 years of age, is now homeless and will have to live out on the streets of campus.
“Shit,” says a barefooted Chase, as he warms a can of Spam over his tiny street fire. “I really thought we had ‘em this year. I mean, I bet my entire house on this game for God’s sake,” says Chase through a mouthful of Spam, “I just knew we’d get them sons of bitches good. It’s like that saying, right? Six years the charm, baby.”
The Crimson Tide, a mutant football team believed to not be of this world, has been in an intense rivalry with LSU since 1895, and is always LSU’s most anticipated game of the year. LSU’s last W, six years ago, still keeps Tiger fans on the edge of their seats, in hopes of the next big comeback.
Chase claims he made the biggest gamble of his life with a classmate, betting his entire Aster Street home on this game, after reading pages upon pages of predictions from credible sports analysts he found on Tiger Droppings.
Despite losing his entire home and all of his belongings, Chase has complete confidence that LSU will indeed, have ‘Bama by the balls come next year.
“2018 is gonna be the year the Tigers beat ‘Bama, I just feel it. In fact, I’m willing to bet my left pinky on it. Just the tip.”
We wish Chase the best of luck on all of his sports endeavors and we are fairly certain that he will not, have to undergo an amputation come next year’s game against the Tide.