Every Halloween college students do the same thing— get drunk somewhere wearing either a jersey or a slutty bunny costume. While they will end up with hangovers, regrets, and maybe even babies; they will never end up with treats. Here are 6 things to hand out to college trick-or-treaters if they come your way:
7.) Reggie’s Coozies:
Coozies from Reginald’s Upscale Bar are the only ones that keep your beer cold AND exhibit your social status.
6.) Lyft Gift Cards:
Taking the drunk bus for a year straight to-and-fro Tigerland gets old fast. Lyft gift cards will save trick-or-treaters from puking on public transportation AGAIN.
5.) Costco Membership:
What’s better than one Natty? 300 Nattys.
This is literally the only way to protect your ears from the harmful bellows of Coach O’s voice.
Alcohol is great, but the day after having enough of it to heal every infected wound from WWI, Pedialyte is what you need.
2.) 30A Stickers:
If you’re walking around campus with no stickers from Seaside, it’s social suicide.
1.) Amazon Prime Membership:
Three words: Rick. And. Morty.
After you’ve loaded down the neighborhood’s college kids with social status stickers and a free pass to continuing premature alcoholism, feel free to sit down, relax, and enjoy the leftovers.