LSU is an ever-evolving landscape of both basic and bizarre bitches. In an attempt to adapt to each individual student’s interests, LSU will plan to add seven new and exciting courses this fall.
7.) Moodle Literacy:
For incoming freshman, or for those of us who still don’t know what the fuck we’re doing, Moodle can be quite intimidating. Moodle Literacy will be taught by Dr. Pollock of the mass communications department. She hopes to improve students’ knowledge and comfort when handling the online learning platform. It will be offered to all students regardless of major as “it is an inter-disciplinary skill” (Dr. Pollock).
6.) Remedial Sex Education:
In an attempt to compensate for Louisiana’s lack of sex-ed programs, LSU is offering a remedial sex education class. The course materials are:
– Hair in Funny Places by Babette Cole
– A single zucchini
– Your preferred lubrication
Taught by your favorite shoeless wonders from the quad! This course will be held in the quad from 3-5 every day and accounts for 2 credit hours. Come prepared with a mixtape of your favorite Red Hot Chili Peppers and Queen songs. Shirts and shoes are discouraged.
4.) Greek for Greeks:
GREK 1001 was a little too complicated, so LSU added GREK 0001: “Greek for Greeks”. This is a course for those who simply want to learn how to pronounce the letters of the Greek alphabet and apply them to the sororities and fraternities on campus. For example: why is it Alpha Phi but Phi Mu? How many different pronunciations of “phi” are there? Take GREK 0001 for the answer.
3.) Genderless Ladyscaping:
After a desperate outcry for some sort of public-funded guidance on pubic hair removal, LSU has decided to offer a Genderless Ladyscaping course. Dr. Shelby Wright promises students an “all-inclusive pubic experience.” She does not want students to be discouraged on account of pubic color, consistency, or curliness: “You can have wispy pubes, you can have chicken wire pubes. All are welcome.”
If you’re from Louisiana, chances are you’ve hooked up with someone (or multiple someones) with the last names Broussard, Guidry, or Landry. This is okay! But accidental incest has become a serious problem on campus. LSU wants to lower these cases by providing students with the opportunity to learn more about themselves and their families.
1.) Nudes: Soliciting, Snapping, and Sending:
This course is not meant to shame nude takers and senders, but rather to provide a more complex understanding of how nudes shape our society. And, yes, there will be a section dedicated to proper nude-taking technique.
As you prepare to make your schedules for the fall semester, keep these courses in mind. None require prerequisites, all count as electives. Professors and students alike are excited to see LSU move in a more modern direction by offering courses that appeal to a variety of students.
WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.