The storm is coming and you don’t want to be left with no where to hide when it hits! Luckily we’ve got your back with nine totally solid places to hide out on campus.
9.) Inside the Hallways of Your Dorms:
This is probably the most efficient advice and will probably keep you alive. You might get a few bruises and burns from that one-ply toilet paper flying around though.
8.) Library Basement:
Study in a safe place. This place is for all the nerds in us. Plus if the building collapses you’ll be protected by all the fluff of those books. Or crushed, okay, yeah definitely crushed.
7.) Any Lawyer’s Office:
Call a lawyer and get him or her ready to press charges and sue the tornado for damages. For all you liberals, you can hold oil companies and large corporations accountable for climate change which caused the tornado. If you’re a conservative, blame North Korea. Maybe the supreme leader does have better technology that allows him to cause natural disasters in the world??
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6.) Under the Sheets:
Just stay in bed. Why would you let a tornado steal your sleep? Doesn’t college steal most of your sleep anyway? Sweet dreams!
5.) In Your Car Hooking Up with Your Ex:
The treacherous storm will bring the both of you closer together. Maybe you can even get back together again. If not, afterwards just lock him or her in your car while you lie in a ditch. Let the tornado take care of your ex and you might as well get a new car in the process. It’s a win-win for you.
4.) Death Valley:
It never rains in Tiger Stadium. Chances are, if it never rains, it will also never have a tornado go through it. “It is the Pantheon of Concrete and Steel,” means that it will probably survive an EF-5 tornado. Get along with your brothers and sisters and play football on that famous turf while your classrooms are getting flooded by the pouring rain. It’s the perfect Louisiana Saturday Night or should we say, the perfect Louisiana Tornado Night.
3.) Just Get the Hell Away:
For the ultra rich: Call your dad to send his private jet to pick up you and a few friends whom you think are worthy enough to live.
For the kinda sorta rich: Fly to a better place such as Hawaii or Las Vegas for the week until your classes are rebuilt. You’ll get to drink coconut water from an actual coconut while you tan in the beautiful sun with the high surfing waves. Or you can gamble away most of your life savings for the adrenaline rush. At the end of the day, the trip will probably be less than 5% of all the costs you pay to attend LSU as an out-of state student.
For the average Joe: Drive to New Orleans and spend your time on Bourbon Street with the great drinks and strippers. No sane tornado will want to follow you to Bourbon Street knowing that it will lose half its value.
For the not so fortunate: One word. Megabus!
Life is too short to worry about a tornado. We’re young which means we are 100% invincible, remember? Drink up and dance with your comrades till the storm passes.
1.) Inside a Tornado Shelter:
At the end of the day, we want you to be safe and be able to return home in one piece for the summer to your family, friends and your adorable pet. Your pet really misses you! Be safe everyone!