You have 20 minutes until your 10 a.m. class, and Chad is being a greedy muh’fucka. “Look, I’ll bring you to class, but you already have like 11 of my shirts, so.” You scour through his apartment and unbeknownst to you, there’s a plethora of other options:
6.) His shower curtain:
Originally white, it’s now brown with a hint of green. This might be your best option, being as you’d camouflage right into class. If you’re lucky, you might pass out on the trudge to class after being suffocated by the smell. A SHC pass from class due to Hyperthermia won’t be a problem.
5.) See if you can get your skirt to fit over your ass AND your boobs:
That skirt can OBVIOUSLY cover your whole ass, so can it maybe hold your tits too? This may not be the 2 for 1 special you’d prefer, but you’re running against the clock, so make it work, champ.
4.) His Running of The Bulls outfit:
The way one dresses can often be viewed by others as a representation of the person. What better way to present yourself than a, “Hi, I do the alcohol in New Orleans on July 14th.” Get creative with this one, literally roll into class on roller skates carrying a wiffle ball bat.
3.) One of Brad’s shirts:
Since Chad won’t help, maybe his roommate, Brad, will be a little less of a selfish slut. Well, Brad is nothing short of 80 lbs. and 4 ft. tall, so think of his shirts as a stylish summer crop top option. If you can spare a minute, slip some protein into the water on his nightstand.
2.) Chad’s high school state championship sweatshirt:
His friends are suffering from early-onset Alzheimer’s and have forgotten of his “glory” days in 2013. He wears it every day to remind everyone that he is indeed, the shit. He used to be a few pounds (or 30) lighter, so this should fit you perfectly.
1.) That Confederate flag hanging up on his wall for some reason:
Ope nope, there’s actually only 5 viable options in here and now you’re realizing Chad isn’t even one of them. If it comes to this, skip class and drop Chad. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
You’ll definitely be a head turner in these little numbers, guaranteed.
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