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5 of The Best Excuses That Explain Why You’re Late to Class

The Black Sheep interviewed 50 anonymous Terps, asking them about the craziest stories they’ve ever used to excuse their lateness to class. Next time you’re looking to catch 30 extra minutes of ZZZs, refer to this list of extra-special, pre-tested excuses to email your professor. Bonus points if they believe you. Here are 5 of the most outrageous excuses as to why you’re late to class:

5.) “I was trapped in the elevator.”
“Dear professor, due to unforeseen circumstances that I could not control, I was late to class today. I swear I did everything right. I got up on time, chugged 64 cups of black coffee, and even put on deodorant so the girl next to me wouldn’t complain. Somewhere around the fourth floor, the elevator shuddered and just like, stopped moving. I was in there for 20 minutes before it was fixed. I’m really sorry, just please don’t doc my participation grade.”

4.) “I spent the night in jail.”
“Dear professor, I was 30 minutes late to class today due to the events I participated in last night. Around 1:30 a.m., I was leaving a popular College Park establishment called R.J. Bentley’s, have you heard of it? And this guy started hitting on my girlfriend, so obviously I had to give him the ol’ one-two combo. I didn’t even see the UMPD car until they jumped out and cuffed me. I didn’t even think those guys were real cops! Anyway, I’m sorry for being late and I’m sorry for falling asleep, but those jail beds are some real trash.”

 

3.) “I thought today was Tuesday.”
“Dear professor, I sincerely woke up thinking I did not have your class today. It’s been a hell of a week for me. Last night I crashed on the bathroom floor at 6 p.m., and slept straight through into the morning. You’re honestly lucky I came to class at all today, after walking into the wrong lecture and embarrassing the fuck outta myself, everything in my brain’s a little fuzzy. I’m not even positive that I turned off the stove this morning, so please, just let me retake that in-class quiz I missed.”

2.) “President Loh haunted my dreams last night.”
“Dear professor, I’m very sorry for walking in late during the exam today. Last night, President Wallace Loh himself entered my dreams and told me that if I went to my math class, a two thousand year-old ancient prophecy would be fulfilled and the world would end. He was so convincing that as soon as my alarm clock went off, I decided it was better to be safe than sorry so I just snoozed for a little while longer. I only came because I knew we had an exam today. It was the world or my math grade, and I chose my math grade.”

1.) “My roommate peed in my backpack.”
“Dear professor, please do not mark me late today, because I truly did everything I could to make it to class on time. It’s not my fault that my roommate stumbled in drunk at 4 a.m. and took a piss inside of my backpack. He told me he left me a present somewhere in the room, but I just didn’t think it’d be a soggy backpack. I don’t even know what to do with it now, so I guess I’ll just leave it in the shower for 3 months.”

If any of these excuses sound appealing to you, you’re more than welcome to copy and paste them into an email to your professor. Stay tardy, Terps.

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