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We Asked 14 STEM Majors if They’ve Ever Kissed A Person, and The Results Are Shocking

Here at UMD, STEM majors have it hard. Unfortunately, the stereotypes clouding STEM majors are even harder. We at The Black Sheep took it upon ourselves to ask a few STEM majors the question our 8th grade bullies coerced us into answering: Have you ever even kissed someone that isn’t your parents? To keep anonymity, we left names out to protect those involved.

Anonymous Mechanical Engineering Major:
Fuck you. I have a girlfriend, get the fuck out of my face.

Anonymous Civil Engineering Major:
I’ve been dating my girlfriend since sophomore year of high schooland she’s my one and only. What kind of question is this?

Anonymous Statistics Major:
This is such a personal question, why would you ask me this? Is everything okay? You know, 42 percent of college students…blah, blah, blah.

Anonymous Comp Sci Major:
I kiss my dog sometimes…on the lips. Does that count?

Anonymous Biology Major:
Excuse me? I have a boyfriend. I just left his place, I can go back and get him to fuck you up if you keep asking me more weird shit like this.

Anonymous Mechanical Engineering Major #2:
Um, duh.

Anonymous Materials Engineering Major:
Obviously. That’s a stupid question.

Anonymous Architectural Sciences Major:
No I haven’t, but I imagine it’s a lot like licking the inside of an Oreo. You know that feeling? God damn, I love that shit. I mean, I REALLY get hot and heavy thinking about it, woo-wee.

Anonymous Comp Sci Major #2:
How dare you ask me that, I obviously have.

Anonymous Livestock Management Major:
I fucked a cow last semester. She was one tender heifer. Wide hips. One naughty little cow, that’s for sure.

Anonymous Plant Sciences Major:
Dude, fuck you. And for your information, I have. 

Anonymous Physiology Major:
Yes, I have. I hit the bars too often not to, ya know?

Anonymous Mathematics Major:
Nope. I love numbers too much to want any sort of human interaction.

Anonymous Chemistry Major:
Get away from me please.


Wow! Who would have guessed!

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