Ah, Maryland men’s basketball. Sweet, sweet Maryland men’s basketball. Like so many other people, the basketball season brings us both happiness and crippling anxiety. But, if you’re a diehard fan like the majority of us Terps are, the season will most likely give you more of the anxiety part. Look, there are ways to truly enjoy the season, but there are always some parts that will send you spiraling into a deep depression. Here are some of the best and worst moments to be a MBB fan:
4.) Losing to an Unranked Team:
This always feels like getting hit by a car. Whether its Penn State, Northwestern, Minnesota, or some other lesser school, the pain always feels the same when you watch your team crash and burn against another inbred group of garbage players (That means you, WVU, but we’re sure you’re nice people.)
3.) The Halftime Performances:
Watching little kids race for free Terp Swag is pretty entertaining. And who could hate seeing Gymkana? But watching students brick an easy free throw makes us want to gouge our eyes out. Whether it’s the hula-hoopers or cheerleaders, halftime performances are typically a hellhole of boredom (Except for when the Turgeonites come out. They’re a national treasure.)
2.) The Entire Band Simultaneously Dabbing for 3-Pointers:
If the dab wasn’t dead before, it sure as hell is now. If you haven’t been avidly paying attention to the band every game, just watch them sling their arm out and dab for literally every 3 we hit. It’s more than a little bit nauseating. How the refs resist ejecting them from the game, we’ll never understand.
1.) The Line Getting into the Xfinity Center:
Picture this: you wake up early to get a morning workout in before the 2 P.M. game. You drive to the Terrapin Trail Garage and start strolling over to Eppley, when all of a sudden, you see it: a goddamned line at the student entrance already. What kind of twisted human beings would already be up and in line for tickets? Fucking crazy-ass Terps, that’s who.
4.) Marching into March:
Literally every year we can remember, we have had a team get into March Madness. No matter how many threes have been bricked, vocal chords burned out, or how many times we lose in front of Scott Van Pelt; we still manage to get by. Even though we may not get far every now and then, just taking a trip into the Madness is success enough.
3.) Free Shirts:
“If it’s free, it’s for me.” Every student has said something along those lines after getting their 4000th free shirt. Regardless of what’s even on it, damn near every home game has a shirt lined up to hand out. Unfortunately, there are always those sickos who go to games just to snag the shirt and leave. What horrible lives they must live.
2.) The Chants:
You can’t go to a game without either screaming profane phrases at the other team or spelling Maryland at least a thousand times. But for some reason, we still find ourselves laughing our faces off while we tell the other team that they’re worse shooters than Michael J. Fox, along with screaming at every bullshit call the refs make throughout the game. Still, nothing beats the all-time classic: “BULL-SHIT!”
1.) The Student Wall Flag
We still get teary-eyed thinking about seeing that big beautiful thing fall over the whole student section wall. If you’ve watched that without thinking to yourself that it’s awesome to go here, you’re definitely a Nittany Lion in disguise and shall soon be sacrificed to our Dark Lord Testudo. Sorry, those are the rules.