Who would’ve thought Terp Football would be dominant in 2017? We sure didn’t. For those that live under a rock, UMD football has been a disappointing shit show for six or seven years. When current head coach D.J. Durkin stepped up to the plate, he delivered and took our Terps to a damn bowl game in his first year. That’s mighty impressive for the new guy. What’s even more impressive was this year’s opening dub against Texas at Texas that piqued the whole school’s interests and turned non-fans into, ya know, fans. If you’re anything like the aforementioned “non-fans-turned-fans,” here’s a list of reasons why our Terps might be up to something this season.
5.) We Saw Pigs Fly in Texas During Week 1:
Big shit happens in the Lone Star state, and you know damn well that our boy Piggy would be the big superstar of the school if he hadn’t gotten hurt against Texas. The guy had 2 TD’s and a 93.5 QB rating in his first start of the year until he was taken from us too soon. It’s okay though, we’ll miss our baby boy at least for another season while another guy steps up…
4.) Kasim Hill is Dat Boi:
KASIM MUFUCKIN’ HILL. The frosh really showed out against a ranked Texas AT Texas when succeeding the lost angel that is Tyrrell Pigromme. I mean, how’s the 18 year-old gonna just come out in week 2 and use Towson as his toilet paper? That’s some ruthless shit (pun intended). We at The Black Sheep don’t know if he’ll continue to be a force, but god damn it do we pray to our dark lord Testudo that he can take us to a bowl game.
3.) We Have Two DJ’s on the Team:
Talk about PHAT BEATS. Oh my goodness, get it? No? Okay. D.J. Moore and D.J. Durkin are definitely two names that get the whole campus jazzed. The way Durkin works the team like a control board and Moore controls the field like a festival crowd is definitely a sight to see. Now only if we can get Khaled to #TerpUp…
2.) Our Running Backs Are MF’n Good:
BOY OH BOY. Have you seen our run game? Like word to Chris Brown when we say we like to see ‘em run it, run it (c’mon y’all we’re tryin’ here). Also word to Chris Brown when our running backs are sure to beat people. Anyway, Lorenzo Harrison, Ty Johnson and Jake Funk continue to reef the hell out of any defense they say and to be quite honest, we can’t wait to see them keep it up for the rest of the season.
1.) Herm Edwards Gave The Boys A Stern Talkin’ To:
ESPN’s Herm Edwards came through for a pep talk during the team’s bye week because Herm Edwards is damn gentleman. It definitely helps that Hermy is the athletic director Kevin Anderson’s homie from back in their college days. I like to think young Herm and Kevin would get schwifty on frat parties at their alma mater UC Berkeley. Think about that, take it in for a second. Herm definitely told the football team to celebrate after every game like it’s Project X, or at least we hope he did.
All of us here at The Black Sheep are rooting for the dirty ol’ Terps this season, and even if we’re still not actually good at football, we know one thing for sure: we’re damn good at tailgates.