It’s Valentine’s Day, and you know what that means: expensive chocolates, fancy dinner dates, and overly sappy cards. If you’re dating a fellow Terp (as you should be), we guarantee they’ll cry Maryland-colored tears of joy if you send them one of our Valentine’s Day cards instead of the boring old Hallmark ones.
6.) Build Up Your Love With This Construction Card:
True love lasts forever, or so some people hope. You know what else lasts forever? Any of the various construction projects on and around the UMD campus. We at The Black Sheep hope you and your valentine last longer than the construction on Cole Field House or on the Hotel at College Park.
5.) This Card’s a Slam Dunk:
You’re lying if you haven’t dreamed about Melo Trimble being your valentine at least one or twenty times. If ball is his life, it’s our life too. We can’t even begin to list everything we want to do with him. We’re trimbling just thinking about it.
4.) Nothing Says Romance Like a Close-Up on Wally:
Everyone loves Wallace Loh, and even more people love puns, so guess what: he ‘lohs’ you too, and your poor taste in jokes. Share President Loh’s love with your valentine and maybe they’ll share something they ‘loh’ with you too.
3.) Show Them They’re the 1 for You With This Card:
Route 1 might just be the biggest ho in College Park: everyone wants to go down on her several times a week, and you’ll never run out of things to do on her. Send this to your bae if you’re trying to get some action (or if you just want someone to go to Bents with this weekend).
2.) This Card Shows That No Challenge Can Stop Your Love:
Actions speak louder than words, right? So if your bae makes the treacherously steep climb up the hill by Stamp just to get you Chick-Fil-A, they’re a keeper. Bonus points to them if they did it while it was snowing, if the wind was blowing them sideways, or if they were sick.
1.) Prove Your Love Can Survive Any Test(udo):
We’re pretty sure there’s some ancient saying that says true love equals sacrifice, so what better way to show your valentine you care about them by making an offering to our beloved Testudo in their name? By giving Testudo your last granola bar, it’s possible you’d be starving yourself. But at least you’re ensuring they do well on their upcoming midterm on your way out.