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7 Things a True Terp Does Before Graduating

 

If you’re graduating this spring, then you don’t have a lot of time left here at the University of Maryland. Before you go, make sure you’ve checked off every item on this list of essential UMD experiences! It’s the only way to know for sure that you’re a True Terp.

 

7.) Mow Capital One Field:

It’s practically a rite of passage here at UMD for freshmen to sneak into Maryland Stadium at night, climb to the top, then immediately climb down and mow all 100 yards of Capital One Field. Some go from end zone to end zone; others from sideline to sideline. All that matters is that, if you’re a True Terp, you get the job done.

 

6.) Go to the Senior Bar Run:

Every year, the seniors pick a day where they drunkenly stampede down Route 1, killing dozens and flattening R.J. Bentley’s, Cornerstone, Terrapin Turf, and even Looney’s Pub. Town Hall is always left miraculously untouched. If you’re not participating, you’re not a True Terp.

 

5.) Eat Wallace Loh Out of House and Home:

If you’re a True Terp, odds are you’ve already gone to the University House for a meal, only to find yourself physically unable to stop eating until Wallace Loh has personally gone bankrupt from footing the bill for your gluttony.

 

4.) Get Mugged:

This is the easiest item on the list. Simply walk down Rhode Island Avenue after dusk with a big shirt on that reads, “I CARRY LARGE AMOUNTS OF CASH ON ME AT ALL TIMES!” Sure enough, you’ll be mugged before you know it. Don’t worry if it sounds scary. Every True Terp does it, and almost every one of them survives. Better yet, you’ll be the star of those police emails reporting local crime!

 

3.) Leave Testudo an Infant During Finals:

Every UMD student knows to not let their babies around Testudo, or else he’ll absorb them for nutrients. But Testudo has to eat, so every True Terp brings him one newborn to wholly consume during finals week. Better hope he doesn’t spit up!

 

2.) Watch 21 Jump Street:

Oh man. Have you not seen 21 Jump Street yet? It’s so funny. Channing Tatum is hilarious. Yeah, we used to think he was dumb, too, but seriously. True Terps have to check it out.

 

1.) Drown A Pledge In the Fountain:

Everyone knows that the fountain on McKeldin Mall is fun to splash around in after a party, but only True Terps know that it gets even better when you hold a pledge’s head underneath the surface of the water until all life leaves their body. You don’t even have to be in a fraternity to do it! True Terps know that just makes it all the more exciting.

 

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