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Breaking: Underground A/C Ring Discovered Under Prince Frederick Hall

An insider for The Black Sheep has been informed of an underground air conditioning ring under Prince Frederick Hall. Allegedly, the ring operates as a subscription-based service, where students can pay a monthly fee in exchange for an illegal air conditioning mod to be installed in their dorms.

Premium versions of this plan exist, with monthly prices ranging from 50 dining dollars a month to $400 a month.

Although the details of this ring are unknown, it was allegedly started by a shadow figure, only known publicly through his email: wallylohisthiccaf@gmail.com.

The Black Sheep reached out to this figure to ask several questions.

According to the highly-redacted email received from the mysterious ring leader, who will be referred to as “King Cool,” the ring, known as “The League of Freeze,” started as an idea after King Cool took ENES140 “and learned some cool shit.”

King Cool believes that he or she “is simply doing a favor by providing something we all want.” According to King Cold, he or she had to live in a tree house during his/her freshman year, which he/she described as “not chill, bro.”

Among the student body however, The League of Freeze has been met with some controversy. Many members of the league wear maroon robes around campus and there is an ongoing rumor that members perform cult-like rituals involving squirrels and antifreeze after hours.

As one student put it, “Yeah, those AC cult guys are wack.”

When asked about whether The League of Freeze is a cult, King Cool responded, “Nah.”

According to a recent poll done by a sophomore that recently barely passed STAT 400, 69% of the student body feel frustrated with the temperature conditions in their living spaces. Whilst summers are usually bad at Maryland, this school year is particularly unbearable due to the fact that the university thinks it’s a good idea to shove six people in a 7×7 room without air conditioning.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb, hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep, Mackenzie & Andrea. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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