Welcome to the most disparaging tour of Oxford to ever be given. We got down to the nitty gritty, to what we all know is true of different areas of Ox. No one was forsaken. (This is to be taken lightheartedly, just ’cause you ride horses doesn’t mean you’re weird, etc. etc.). Now, on to some of our favorite stops on the tour of Forbes #1 College Town in 2014 (look it up you weird horse-lovers).
Click the map for a larger version!
First Stop (heheheh): The Uptown Area
You know where this is, and you know that any time between Monday night and early Sunday morning, you’re going to run into a plethora of drunkies. Your friends, your enemies, your TA from UNV101, Uptown knows no bounds on drunkenness. There are a variety of drunks that we have observed, including but not limited to: drunk underclassmen who are narrowly escaping arrest, overly drunk people being carted to the hospital, and drunk sports people aka guys in khakis, Sperrys and jerseys.
Next up: Armstrong
We labeled Armstrong as “every person you’re trying to avoid” because… well… is it not true? Every time you’re just trying to go hide in the family room and work or get some lunch you end up seeing every single person you’ve ever met on this campus. Not always a bad thing, but rarely ever a good one.
Moving along: Yager
Finally: The Corner of Patterson and Spring
There is A LOT going on at this corner. Shiedler is still being built but also somehow has classes going on in it which has everyone like ?????? Also, Bachelor is just confusing as hell and we’re pretty sure there’s gotta be at least one student who died in there trying to find their class. Lastly we have Cook Field, which seems to be where all the creepers hang out in the night, cause at least half of the campus alerts sent out come from there.
This concludes the guided portion of our tour, but please be sure to explore the map more and see what we think about you / send to your friends and laugh at where they live. Thanks for joining us on this incredible journey. Stay classy, Ox.
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