Remember back in high school when you’d count down the days until that glorious time of the year where you had little (or no) responsibilities and a healthy and thriving social life? Ah, those were the days. Flash forward to your first year at Miami—where you probably realized pretty early on that going to this school is soooo much better than summer break. In all honesty, it ruins it. These are the 7 ways Miami University ruins your summer.
There’s nothing worse than checking your Facebook (or your MySpace, we don’t judge), and seeing a picture of all of your friends enjoying the drink specials at Brick. The only “drink specials” you’re getting this summer are free cups of water from the break room at your internship. And even then, Barbara from accounting always side-eyes you to make sure you only take one. “Back off Barbara, I’m dehydrated!”
“But I always made my Rice-A-Roni while waiting for Facebook to load, but now you’re telling me it just… works? How will I eat? This is anarchy!” Ah, the sweet smell of a “page loading” banner. How will you ever survive without it? Actually, this is the best thing about coming home because now you can stalk your ex on social media without worrying about the page freezing on their profile picture from 9th grade homecoming.
5.) “You go to Miami? Oh I bet you’re used to this warm weather then!”: Just… no. Up in Oxford, no one even considers that you could be referring to the University of Miami (in Florida). But back home it’s the opposite, especially if you live in any state other than Ohio… Like, we were a school before Florida was a state, bye.
You’ve probably even thought about getting this shirt, just to save the confusion. Then you remembered that no one ever wears Miami apparel, so that would be dumb.
They’re probably even studying abroad together and having so much fun laughing and making memories over a plate of weird cheese in France. And they post all their adorable pics all over Insta, as if they’re rubbing your sad, sad life in your face. Alright yeah, I studied abroad too, but it was only for 3 weeks so I didn’t ruthlessly abandon anyone OKAY?
They’re just not. But the worst part is that all of your hometown friends seem to think they are. You first realized this when you walked into that-weird-kid-from-high-school’s parent’s basement and saw someone drinking a Smirnoff Ice. Yes, DRINKING. Not chugging. What are we, Girl Scouts? The second tipoff was when the pseudo-DJ voluntarily played Uptown Funk and no one tried to break his phone. Wanna know what is fun though? Killing a bottle of wine with your best friend and watching The Bachelorette. That’ll make you feel like you’re back at school in no time.
When you’re at home, everything is far away. Chipotle? 10 minute drive. Jimmy John’s? 15-minute drive. Bagel and Deli? Lol, brb, might as well sit in the corner and wait for your withdrawal symptoms to pass. We don’t always appreciate it, but having everything you could ever possibly need within a few square miles of your house is actually amazing.
You flip open your Bdubs menu, expecting to see the same wonderfully cheap prices that are indigenous to the OxBox. You scan down to your go-to meal (the crispy chicken wrap) only to see that it is an entire dollar more. Now, this may not sound like much, but when you consider Bdubs to be its own food group, those Washingtons really add up. Give us back our BTC specials and we’ll be happy.
Coming home for the summer is hard, but just keep repeating this mantra: “At least I don’t have my 8:30 classes, at least I don’t have my 8:30 classes, at least I don’t have my 8:30 classes…”