So you’ve seen all of Tyler Oakley’s videos, and just know you two would have so much fun at brunch. You’re funny and smart, and really, he’d be missing out on all you have to offer as a friend— from meme tags to deep conversations about, like, life probably. But how to get him to notice you? Luckily, we at The Black Sheep has complied a list of surefire ways to get this excellent alumnus’s attention.
10.) Show him your YouTube channel:
The last thing you uploaded to this dumpster fire of an account you started in middle school was a video of you covering Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball” while playing ukulele, but hey, he’ll love it. This way you can show off how talented you are, knowing three chords on the easiest instrument to learn and all.
9.) Write a love song, with a music video:
In the style of the iconic Rachel Bloom’s “Fuck Me Ray Bradbury” or the YouTube smash hit “David Duchovny, Why Don’t You Love Me?”, compose a spunky song and music video for Tyler. Perhaps title it something fun like “Tyler Oakley, Why Won’t You Choke Me?” or more bluntly “Tyler Oakley I’d Make a Great Brunch Date”.
8.) Make a Tumblr dedicated to his hair:
Show Tyler how super cool you think he is by showing him that not only do you know how to use Tumblr, but you also have been tracking his hair style choices, like any true friend would. Better yet, skip the Tumblr, collect his hair, and knit it into a sweater. Friends love that shit.
7.) Do a Draw Your Life, but make it, like, interesting:
Remember Tyler’s beautiful and moving draw his life video? Make one of your own, and show him— but, like, make it interesting. You’re going to have to really have to play up the time you broke your ankle in order to make this video longer than three minutes.
6.) Offer him a slice of leftover pizza:
When push comes to shove, one of the best ways to make friends is to offer up that last slice of freezer-burned olive and green pepper pizza that has been chilling in your fridge for the past three weeks.
5.) Tell him your post-graduation plans:
It didn’t impress your dad, but maybe your post-graduation plan of moving to Scotland and opening up a bed and breakfast will show Tyler how fun and spontaneous you are. Who knows, maybe you can even open the bed and breakfast together, and make it, like, cute.
4.) Show him how good you are at video editing:
Break out iMovie and show him the little video montage you made of you and your friends this summer. You know, the one with the video of you singing “Bennie and the Jets” on a kitchen table, falling off of said table, and then having to go to the ER to make sure you didn’t break your tailbone. That was super cool, Tyler will like that.
3.) Tell him you go to MSU:
Man, as soon as you tell him you go to his alma mater, he is sure to see how much you guys have in common! After you gush about your time at this lovely university, you can drop that brunch invite with complete confidence.
2.) Make a sign, or something:
Write “Tyler Oakley, be my friend” in big-ass letters on a piece of cardboard and just hope for the best. Odds are he’ll see it and just be like “yeah, seems like a good idea”, and next thing you know, you’ll be out to brunch with Tyler Oakley.
1.) Write a listicle:
Probably the best way to let Tyler Oakley know how cool and funny you are is to write a listicle, highlighting some spunky and innovative ways to seduce him into a long-term friendship. So meta.
So what do you say, Tyler? We’re super cool, and will share our pizza!