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10 Ways to Lower Your Already Low Expectations for March Madness


The best way to get over your disappointment in one thing is to channel your disappointment into another. In order to dull those March Madness blues, we at The Black Sheep came up with a few tricks to help you drown one sense of hopeless despair with another.


10.) Go to a Party:
Nothing will remind you of how horrible a letdown feels like going out. You plan and pregame and get all excited, only to vomit all over your crush, lose half of your friends, and get a nasty hangover. Maybe watching the basketball team stings a little, but at least you didn’t puke.


9.) Try to Visit the Conrad’s on Grand River:
This Conrad’s closed, but at least the basketball team is still here. Yeah, they didn’t have their finest season, but at least you can still turn on the TV and watch them.


8.) Drink a Sparty’s Coffee:
A lukewarm cup of river water should help you put things in perspective. Yeah, our basketball team put on a disappointing show this year, but at least they don’t make you actually want to vomit, or rip a hole in your large intestine.


7.) Remember Our Football Team Sucks, Too:
It seems unfair to be so hard on our basketball team when our football team had an absolutely devastating season as well. Sure, at times it was ugly to watch, but at least you never actually cried.


6.) Ride a CATA Bus:
The CATA is smellier, bumpier, and slower than you expected it to be. While our basketball team is a heaping pile of disappointment, at least you’ll survive watching them play.


5.) Look at Your Transcript:
Nothing will give you the reality check that you need quite like looking at your transcript and thinking about the future. Maybe the basketball team is a huge embarrassment, but at least it has a future. You…well, you’re not so sure about yourself.


4.) Play a Little Basketball Yourself:
This way, you can remind yourself that basketball is, like, really hard, and you shouldn’t expect very much of the team anyhow. The ball is really big, and the net is really small and far away. The team is doing great compared to you.


3.) Eat in Any Caf:
Going to a caf and expecting to get a delicious mac and cheese and instead getting some runny pasta with cheese powder on it should help remind you that there are worse things in the world than our basketball record. Like waiting in a line for 30 minutes, only to be given sub-par food.


2.) Get a Starbucks Drink:
After you get your drink, spend a few minutes thinking about how you just spent five dollars on something that is probably mostly ice anyways and you could’ve made at home. At the very least, going to see an MSU basketball game probably isn’t a waste of money.


1.) Think About What Happened Last Year:
Not that you were really in danger of getting too hype for this year’s March Madness, but thinking about last year should really lower your expectations enough so that whatever happens this year won’t be quite as devastating of a blow.


From Sparty’s coffee to caf food, there are tons of other disappointing things in life that you can use to lower your expectations this season. At the end of the day, at least we have a basketball team.



WATCH: We hit the streets of Chicago’s St. Patty’s Day Parade to see how woke people were.


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