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The 6 Best Events of the East Lansing Winter Olympics

As you read this article, athletes from around the world are skating, skiing, and bobsledding around PyeongChang, South Korea. While their talent is exceptional, they might not be able to handle a day at the First Annual East Lansing Olympics, especially with our rapidly changing weather. While there are many events occurring throughout EL, here are some of the highlights:

6.) Drunk biathlon:
The typical winter biathlon is truly a feat of athleticism, with participants having to both engage in cross-country skiing and shooting challenges. While this event is difficult, it doesn’t hold a candle to the EL equivalent, the drunk biathlon. In this grueling experience, competitors must attend ‘Rama in the morning and then trek through MSU’s snowy campus to attend their afternoon class. Only the strong get their iClicker points.

5.) Practical skating:
Figure skating is cool, but could they survive on the ice in beat up tennis shoes? Participants in the EL Winter Olympics achieve this feat on the daily (well, until the snow melts and campus floods). To win, you must make it to your class without falling. Any slip-up results in immediate disqualification.

4.) CATA gymnastics:
As the temperature drops and the snow falls, more and more people turn to CATA to get them to their destination. As a result, the buses are filled to capacity and patrons must hold on for dear life as they’re forced to stand. To win this event, it’s all about style. Whoever can stand for an entire CATA ride while looking the most unbothered will come out on top.

3.) Dartying:
“How can partying be challenging?” you may ask. Well, when the temperature is below freezing and you absolutely cannot wear a coat because it doesn’t match your “going out clothes,” things get a little rough. Points in this event are awarded based on how comfortable you manage to look at both the event itself and in the eventual Instagram post.

2.) Seasonal Affective Disorder:
As the winter wears on, it’s common to feel the ravages of SAD. It can soon become hard to be motivated to do anything. To win this, you just have to manage to actually get to class and not just binge watch The Office again. It’s harder than it sounds.

1.) Getting ready for Spring Break:
Spring Break is cool and all, but it sucks how it just kind of pops up towards the end of winter, when people are typically hitting the peak of their freshman 15. It’s hard to stay in shape when it’s hard to go outside, and even harder when exams are piling up. To pull off a win here, participants must be able to post a picture from the beach online while getting at least C’s on all midterms.

If you or anyone you know are competing in these events, we wish you luck. Go for gold!

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