The greatest holiday on Earth has arrived, and no one knows how to go green better than MSU students. If you’re one of those insufferable bastards who has already planned to post “4/20 BLAZE IT” on every social media platform imaginable, we have just the thing for you: East Lansing’s hottest 4/20 destination, Blaze Pizza! Here are some menu items every self-respecting stoner needs to try (just please don’t flood the MSU snap story with your typical nonsense):
6.) The Green Stripe:
We’ll start off simple. The arugula on this baby will get your taste buds rolling – well, once you’re fucked up enough to realize arugula has a taste. Couple it with a fine cup of complimentary water for an explosion of flavor that truly does not exist!
5.) Build-Your-Own with buffalo sauce, jalapenos, bell peppers, red peppers, and pepperoni:
If you’re the kind of person who tends to dissociate when under the influence, have no fear! This pizza will be sure to kick your skinny ass back to planet Earth while screaming in your ear and giving you faulty tax advice. If it’s spicy enough to kill a small dog, it’s spicy enough for you!
4.) 17 s’more pies:
They might not have that many of these sweet temptations ready, but definitely don’t hesitate to ask! These pies were sculpted by the archangel Gabriel as a gift to God, and as such, the tastiness of just one can be enough to drive a mere mortal mad. You are no mere mortal. Pack 17 of these suckers into your mouth and scream “4/20 PRAISE IT” to the heavens!
A secret delicacy that Blaze only offers to their most special customers, ask for grass and prepare to be knocked on your ass. An employee will go out and cut some grass fresh, just for you, and will sprinkle it on the floor so you can 4/20 graze it to your heart’s content. You’ve always wanted to know what life as a cow was like; this is your chance to find out!
2.) An official NRA Molotov cocktail:
It would be an unwise business practice indeed for Blaze to ignore the 4/20 raze it crowd, so be sure to check out their special Molotov deals when the day finally comes! East Lansing won’t know what hit it when you’re done, sport! Aimless violence has never been more acceptable in our society, and with a sponsor like the NRA, you know you’ll have only the best tools to do it! Furious flames in a bottle? More like furious fun in a bottle!
1.) Fuck it, you’ll take one of everything:
4/20 munchies hitting you hard? Do you feel as though your stomach has become a bit like your soul: a massive bottomless void with no hope of ever being filled? Bite the bullet and break out the big bucks, because it’s time to just fucking buy one of everything on the menu! 4/20 blaze it? More like 4/20 pay it off slowly over a number of years! Woohoo!
No matter what you decide, you definitely won’t be going hungry this 4/20.