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The 7 REAL Sounds Of Homecoming

This past Tuesday, UAB hosted their annual Sounds of MSU Homecoming event in the Union’s main lobby; a concert featuring the best vocalists and singing groups on campus. Yet while the event has been a staple of Homecoming week for many years, we believe there’s an even greater collection of vocal performances, truer to the spirit of Homecoming. Here are the top seven sounds that define the great Spartan Homecoming tailgate experience:

7.) Imagine the worst country song you’ve ever heard, and it’s also 8 a.m.:
Dorm life is tough, but the biggest challenge is trying to sleep through tailgate’s for noon games. This Saturday will be no exception, so expect to hear Florida Georgia Line blaring through your windows and your unfortunate floormate who’s decision it was to play this.

6.) That weird cat noise they play during Northwestern games:
If you want to get hissed at, just walk into an RCAH classroom. But if you walk into a Northwestern fan’s tailgate tent this Saturday, don’t be surprised to hear that weird Wildcat growl they play on the loudspeakers anytime Northwestern makes a good play. You can be sure some FIP asshole has that soundbite on a loop.

5.) The shrieking cackle of a tailgating mom:
It may just now be October, but this woman always laughs like a witch. With more dye chemicals in her hair than in the “spooky juice” she’s drinking, this tailgating mom is one more sip away from changing the song to “Baby Got Back” and twerking in the road. If it does come to that, best to cover your ears.

4.) That girl from your ISS vomiting in a bush outside the stadium:
You recognize her, but the sound she’s creating by upchucking eight beers and that breakfast casserole your friend made for the tailgate makes you thankful you don’t really know her.

3.) Dad playing cornhole yelling “get in there!” on every throw:
Cornhole in the midwest is as great of a tradition at tailgates as the are the sounds dad’s make when playing it. So you’ll be sure to hear it at least twice on your way to the stadium. Other great exclamations may include, “c’mon now!” “there it is!” and “Booya! Did you see that one, Jim?”

2.) A collective groan from the fan base:
Whether it be a ridiculous foul on a great play, a lousy turnover, or just any bone-headed mistake, you can be sure the Spartans will do it. Then, in come the moans and groans of its devoted fan base. It’s a tale as old as time, and with Northwestern being as good as they seem, the Homecoming game will be filled to the brim with them.

1.) That one drunk guy who starts a “Go Green” chant:
Our hero from a distance, breaking the social awkwardness of screaming in a crowd. The paramount of all call and response chants, in all of sports, in all the world is started by the guy who won’t even make it to the main gate on his own two feet. The truly greatest of all Homecoming sounds.

From vomiting to noisy tailgate mom and dads, Homecoming is filled with memorable noises we will forever cherish.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.

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