Every Michigan State student needs to be prepared for the night they accidentally get roped into karaoke. Walking into Crunchy’s is the gateway drug to hearing “c’mon, when are you going to sing something already?” The Crunchy’s karaoke song list is large and daunting, but thankfully The Black Sheep is here to help you pick a song to ensure you have a successful night.
7.) “All Star” by Smash Mouth:
This song soared into our hearts hand and hand with everyone’s favorite ogre. You would have to be a heartless monster to not applaud anyone who sings this song. Just make sure you beat everyone else to the punch, because this one is really popular.
6.) “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC:
Any sports-loving Spartan should know this one! Plus, every night in every bar, there’s always someone who sips their Oberon and says, “I want to hear the classics.” It’s an obsession. Thankfully, you’re desperate for applause. They will probably be the only one who applauds you, because nobody else will appreciate being screeched at for three minutes, but you’ll take it!
5.) “Summer Nights” from Grease:
We know what you’re thinking, isn’t this kind of played out? Isn’t this a song even people from the Department of Theater can’t stand? For the most part, you’d be right, but luckily nobody else is willing to sing this with you. By doing this song yourself, you can make the world’s lamest duet into the world’s boldest karaoke song. People will admire your courage, and you’re sure to win confused applause from dozens.
4.) “Bad Touch” by The Bloodhound Gang:
On second thought, don’t do this. This song will make everyone but your friends extremely uncomfortable. You’ll only get applause from the overly-enthusiastic weird guy who’s been cheering on everyone all night. You don’t want to talk to that guy. He’ll keep telling you he went to high school with “the head Spartan basketball guy”, and insisting you both trade shoes in the bathroom.
4.) “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-Lot:
This is much, much better. It’s the safer cousin to “Bad Touch.” This song will let you show off your cool, edgy side within reason. It’s the perfect song to let everyone know you’re a little bit of a risk taker. All of Crunchy’s will know you’re the kind of person who starts crossing Farm Lane a few seconds before the sign says “WALK.” The only people who won’t cheer are the cowards who wished they lived on the edge like you.
3.) “DNA” by Kendrick Lamar:
Full disclosure: rapping is hard. It’s really easy to mess this one up, but everybody loves Kendrick Lamar right now. If you can make this work, you’re guaranteed to have a really good night.
2.) “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen:
So you’ve sang three times tonight, and the most attention you got was a polite golf clap. It’s time to bring out the big guns. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, there is someone in Crunchy’s drunk enough to give a standing ovation for “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Here’s the catch: this song is about six minutes, and it will feel like the longest six minutes of your life. It won’t matter that you’ll be an exhausted mess by the end of it. You killed it, and everyone will let you know.
1.) “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers:
This is the lowest hanging fruit of all time. This is the song that bonds drunk strangers at 3 a.m. in Conrad’s. Try mumbling the wrong lyrics for three minutes and watch someone try to buy you a shot anyway. You can’t possibly mess this one up.
There you have it. What are you waiting for? Go tear up Crunchy’s and become East Lansing’s next karaoke hero!
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