Lay’s “Do Us a Flavor” contest is very well known, due to the delicious and unique cuisine it has been able to translate into chip form. Although the 2016 contestants have been chosen, we are eager to assist you in finding the next great chip flavor. Here are a few ideas inspired by MSU cuisine you may see coming up:
7.) Brody Caf Scrambled Eggs and Frank’s:
Boy, doesn’t your mouth water each time you get a look at that bag of egg! This bulk scoop of eggs you get every Saturday for lunch may have a bland, spongey texture, but all you need is a little bit of Frank’s Hot Sauce to give it some real zing! Although it may be difficult for the Frito-Lay corporation to reenact that spongey texture, all they need to do is dip each individual chip in a 50-gallon bag of egg they find at Costco and they’re ready to go!
6.) The Entire Shot Tour from The Tin Can on One Chip:
You have been workin’ on that shot list for weeks! It’s time to get off your drunk-ass and make something of yourself. Write down the ingredients to every shot on The Tin Can’s Shot Tour, pour it all on one individual chip, and ship it off to Frito-Lay! What could possibly go wrong?
5.) An Ill-Prepared Spinach Wrap:
We all know how our basic-ass bitches love their spinach wraps: torn to shreds! Fortunately, the noobs working the sandwich counter always know exactly how to take care of that. If Frito-Lay found a way to translate the flavor into a healthy alternative to the orthodox chip, all the chicks be goin’ cray!
4.) The Best One from Conrad’s:
A tremendous blend of chicken, cheese, tots, bacon ranch, sour cream, and hot sauce, this clusterfuck of tortilla-wrapped shit is the perfect complement to a post-bong showing of a Wes Anderson film. While stoners that still happen to have $7.75 in Spartan Cash can get one ‘a these puppers while aimlessly walking around Grand River, the low class stoners only find themselves begrudgingly mowin’ down on whatever it is they find in their cabinet, most likely a 7-month old bag of Lay’s potato chips.
3.) Anything from the Vegetarian Line at New Traditions:
This will not win.
2.) Crack Fries from HopCat:
Your parents are in town and let you pick where to go for dinner, so you obviously pick HopCat. Your eyes instantly gaze upon the crack fries, and you order them, because the name alone already makes you look like a baller to compensate for the fact that you can’t be suckin’ on one of the hundred taps HopCat has for your 21+ friends. Upon eating them, you realize they’re actually amazing! Perhaps take the seasoning from this potato-based piece of Heaven and put it on a Lay’s.
1.) A Friendly Squirrel:
After Veruca Salt’s endeavor to consume a squirrel in the Tim Burton film Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fascinated millions, students across campus have been looking to do the same. While we initially only had the Squirrel Watchers and Squirrel Haters Clubs, the Squirrel Eaters Club is now taking shape. Satisfied with their meal, they now look for multiple ways to go about consuming such a feast. Perhaps they could do so in the form of everyone’s favorite salted snack?
With potential such as this, these savory options are a surefire way to get yourself the W in Lay’s contest and grab up that cash money prize!
For those about to rush, we salute you: