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8 Things MSU Basketball Could Still Win (Because it Sure as Hell Won’t Be a Game)

After the tragic loss to Syracuse last evening, The Black Sheep wanted to keep the MSU basketball spirits high by brainstorming a list of things the MSU team could probably still win, since they couldn’t win the tournament, or…that game…

8.) $2 off a Jonna’s 2 Go $1 lottery ticket:
We didn’t want to shoot too high by saying a price too close to the cost of the actual ticket, but hey, if each player makes like $2, they might have enough money to buy a fake trophy from this party store.

7.) An invite to join the women’s rowing team:
Generally, everyone gets these emails, even if you’re a man – perfect for the MSU basketball lads. Let’s go get those automated emails, team!

6.) A stuffed giraffe from Pinball Pete’s:
Our best guess is the team is going to need some cuddle buddies after last night’s loss. We’re also guessing the MSU community will be in an aggressive hibernation tonight, so an inanimate object is the best bet.

5.) A free t-shirt from a Chandler Crossings representative:
We know it’s free, so it’s not technically a “win”, but after last night, any small victory is a win in our book.

4.) A medical bill to pay for MSU alumni’s aneurysms:
Someone’s gotta take responsibility for it. It’s not necessarily a win, because bills, but at least the team will be given some sort of paperwork to write their signatures on now that autographs are just not happening this year.

3.) A complementary damnation from the Well’s Hall Preacher:
Now that it’s time for the team to focus on their studies, they will most likely be having more interactions with the Well’s Hall Preacher. We know he hates sinners, but we can also bet he hates losing.

2.) A really cool MSU hat that was left at the Breslin after the Michigan game:
Yikes. Never mind.

1.) An apology letter from Obama:
We have no one to blame but our president, considering the last time he put us winning the tournament we lost in the first round to a group of Tennessee cousin-kissers. Thanks, Obama.

While we’re definitely disappointed not to be making it further into the competition, we still have some great reasons to cheer on our boys in green – a stuffed giraffe is better than nothing!

Need something for your pregame? Try our Vine Power Hour:

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