Every week, a special day occurs between Wednesday and Friday where campus loses its motivation for work and Spartans Will becomes Spartans Will Get Lit. Yes, it’s true, we’re talking about the (in)famous Burgerama at The Riv. It’s the one thing we can all agree that we are undoubtedly committed to, and it’s about damn time it got some proper recognition. Thus, we have done just that:
MSU, we love thy ‘Rama
When thirsty Thursday calls,
When Thursday rolls around, if your ass isn’t hightailing it from your poorly-planned 10:20 to The Riv to stand in line for cheap burgers and beer, you must not be part of the 21-and-up crew. It doesn’t matter if you’re Chad from Delta Alpha Delta or an engineering major who has never left the lib, you know it’s ‘Rama time. You can smell it in the air. Like, you actually can. The scent of beer is overwhelming.
Chugging pitchers and playing quarters
with jersey-covered squalls;
Don the uniform: a jersey you only break out for darties and the current event of discussion. You’ll see them everywhere, from sorority girls wearing names across their backs they probably can’t even pronounce to dudes that are definitely going to point that out. Don’t own a jersey? Well, shit. Better ask your brother or break out daddy’s emergency credit card. Your kind isn’t welcome here.
Inside the ‘Riv we’ll gather
To give our faith so true,
These are the people that won’t make an 8 a.m., but will wake up at 6 a.m. to get shwastey before a noon game. These are the people that start lining up before 10 to make sure they get their pick of the best place to pop quarters to throwbacks. These are the chosen few. The dedicated. Even if they can’t commit to the girls they plan to hook up with in the bathroom later, they can commit to ‘Rama on Thursdays.
Sing our love for Burgerama
And fuck that class’s GPA too.
If you weren’t smart enough to plan your semester schedule around ‘Rama, you’re in luck. There’s still time to drop those pesky Thursday classes so you can get your drink on with the best (and arguably worst) of them. There’s no way you want to miss seniors balling into pitchers on their last day or srat stars balling into pitchers just because they can’t handle their alcohol. Even if you can’t drop that Sailing class at this point, who cares? What’s more important to you: your future or your present? The choice is clear.
Hit that ATM and trade your paper bills for twenty-five-cent coins, my dudes. It’s time to get drunk at noon and forget you have a paper due at 11:59 p.m. tonight. Then, head home, nap, and rally because Thirsty Thursday isn’t over until it’s Friday.