Move over Farm Lane walk sign, because we’ve got a bone to pick with the Bogue Street walk sign. This walk sign sucks; if you’ve been lucky enough to not encounter this god forsaken monstrosity in your life, here’s the 411: It never changes. It’s no longer a walk sign, it’s a “Do Not Walk Ever” sign. There’s a lot to hate about it, so much that we at The Black Sheep sent someone to sit and watch the walk sign for an hour and chart what happened.
So, full disclosure, the walk sign does actually work, much to our utter astonishment, because up until this study, it had been known that the Bogue walk sign would only change once in a blue moon, at night, when no one was around to see or use it. You see, the thing about the Bogue walk sign is that it’ll only change if the walk sign’s button is pressed. You know, that button that only blind and really impatient people use? Also, who has the time to press the button in this day and age? We have more pressing matters than pressing buttons.
During the hour that our reporter sat at the walk sign, the Bogue Street walk sign only changed 10 times. Usually, that walk sign should be changing about every 2 minutes. Like, what the hell Bogue walk sign? Why do we have to do your job for you? This isn’t the self-checkout at Meijer, this is a matter of life and death. People could get hurt because of you, because now everyone at MSU treats you like that kid they went to high school with who’s still trying to become a rapper: they just ignore you and quietly accept the fact that you don’t work.
Now people just cross Bogue whenever they damn well feel like it. During the hour there, our reporter saw a biker crossing Bogue nearly get hit by a car who was turning left onto Bogue, because the biker just didn’t give a shit, they knew that the walk sign wasn’t going to work! Kudos to the driver of the car for stopping in time, we wouldn’t want anyone to fall because of the Bogue walk sign being hot garbage.
Look Bogue walk sign, we get it, it’s hard doing your job day in and day out so you really only have to work when someone tells you to. But everyone knows you’re a lazy piece of shit, so either you have to start working, or it’s time to replace you.