Everyone thought sophomore Tadd Glandy was nothing more than just some computer science-loving freak who never did anything more than play League of Legends while visiting EVE Online forums in-between his [i]Python The Hard Way[/i] nights. But everyone was wrong.
Tadd Glandy has single-handedly hijacked the system for the @MSUCrushes Twitter feed— an anonymous bulletin board where Spartans can call out all their true loves — by being the author behind each and every Tweet relating to Tadd Glandy. Stunning.
“It wasn’t easy,” said Glandy with a grin as he leaned back in his swivel chair. “But I knew it could be done.”
When asked about his inspiration for the move, Glandy had a lot to say.
“I pretty much learned everything I know about the hack from the film [i]Weird Science[/i],” said Glandy. “Have you seen it? They play an arcade game to get past a firewall—represented as an actual 3D wall of pixelated flames—blocking the FBI. And that’s just for starters.”
The tweets composed in a line-for-line script activated by Glandy himself include such hacksterpieces as “lol omg i get kinda nervous when Tadd Fucking Glandy walks by, like, LADIES, can you relate?” and “mmm definitely Tadd Glandy is someone who works out at IM West, alright it’s verifiably true”.
“My magnum opus,” said Glandy with a shrug.
Other Tweets coded and infiltrated by The Hackstermind himself include “uh wow I think it’s Glandy-o’clock” and “I go to class, I watch Netflix, and I dream of The Gland”.
As for what will come next from MSU’s most dangerous lady-killer and Bitcoin-bopper, we can’t say, but we can only know that one person guaranteed to be signing Tadd Glandy’s yearbook this May will be none other than the great, the well-known, the one and only Tadd Glandy.
“I’m very proud of my work,” said Glandy. “And now I think things in my personal life are finally about to change.”
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