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East Lansing Convenience Stores Run Out Of Pregnancy Tests After Brian Lewerke Radiates BDE All Over Everyone In Lou And Harry’s

Around 10:30 Saturday night Brian Lewerke strode by the poor souls stuck in the Lou and Harry’s sketchy back alley line, excited to spend his by-weekend with the boys.

A sea of girls instantly surrounded Lewerke and his crew as soon as they entered. “It all happened so fast,” the quarterback anxiously said fixing the blue bandana in his hair and brushing the beautiful blonde locks out of his face. “I knew if they got too close this could happen, but I never imagined it happening at such a level!”

Due to his radiating BDE, Lewerke accidentally fathered 20+ children in one night.

On the bright side, CVS is currently collecting the fruits of this family crisis by profiting off of the family planning section and Coach Dantonio is surprisingly very calm about the whole ordeal. He sees this family crisis as a weight lifted off his shoulders.

“I don’t see a problem, I see a football team for our 2036 season. We have big plans for our prodigy family and impatiently await their arrival.”

Oh Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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