Michigan State junior Sophie Corrigan was left in tears this week following a startling revelation that her recently ex boyfriend is a MSU Farmhouse pledge. She reached out to The Black Sheep in hopes to warn others on campus to look for the signs.
“I couldn’t have asked for a better relationship than the one I had with Mark, but that all changed when he suddenly became really secretive,” said Corrigan. “He was never the cleanest, so I got a little suspicious when he started taking the trash down six flights of stairs in Hubbard literally every day before I came over, and then he never had a good answer when I asked why. I was sure there was a good reason, but the signs just started to add up that maybe he was cheating.”
Corrigan continued, “I was started to get really nervous when I found a really cute flannel in his bed. The first time I assumed it was his new shirt because it was fall, but I kept finding more and more.”
“I had to finally confront him when I caught a glimpse of a text he sent to someone else saying something along the lines of ‘sexiest person on Earth. Right here,” said Corrigan, “I asked him about his garbage. Was it another girl’s pregnancy tests? He denied it. He was telling the truth. I really wish he wasn’t. I looked in one of the bags in his room, and it was absolutely full of empty cans of dip.”
“The flannel? It was his flannel, they were all his flannels! He cried as he fessed up to buying each and every one from a Tractor Supply Co.,” said Corrigan as she sobbed. “My voice broke into a crack when I asked him ‘who’s the sexiest person? Who were you talking about?’ He reluctantly gave me his phone. It was a Farmhouse group chat named ‘People Magazine Stan Chat,’ where they just kept agreeing that Blake Shelton was without a doubt 2017’s sexiest man on Earth.”
Corrigan left us with this, “I left him that day. If only he would have cheated, then maybe we could have worked it out.”
Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.