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How to Get Laid in Your Leprechaun Costume this Weekend


Michigan State’s favorite holiday is right around the corner! Free-flowing green beer, kissing people for their heritage, and buying timely merchandise are all staples of the beloved Saint Paddy’s Day. To celebrate, we at The Black Sheep made a step-by-step guide on how to get laid in your leprechaun costume.


Step 1- Get a Leprechaun Costume That Accentuates Your Curves:
We’re all God’s glorious and majestic creations. Make sure to buy a costume that does your body temple justice. If you’ve got ass, flaunt that ass. If you’ve got bulge, flaunt that bulge. Make yourself the most noticeable one in Rick’s. First impressions are everything, and if you’re not rockin’ the fitted leprechaun look, are you rockin’ it at all? If you don’t look the part, you won’t get action. It’s as simple as that.


Step 2- Go Full Leprechaun:
You can’t half-ass the leprechaun. If you dress up as one, you’re committed. You’re committed to a day of getting digits, booze and butts. Do the mighty leprechaun with integrity. Grow the bread. Dye the hair orange. Wear the dope-ass hat. Become as Irish as Dublin Square. Women and men love a committed partner; show them a committed leprechaun.


Step 3- Watch Leprechaun Starring Jennifer Anniston:
Yes, this exists – it’s a horror film about a leprechaun starring Jennifer Anniston. Why spend the weekend watching La La Land in Wells when you could experience this? You don’t need to watch it, but we guarantee it’ll give you an edge against the other competing, horny leprechauns.


Step 4- Lather Your Body in Lucky Charms:
Scent is one of the most important factors in attraction. You don’t want to smell like man-musk. You want to be creative. You want to look like you put effort into yourself. Covering yourself in 12 boxes of Lucky Charms will be the perfect way to seduce your lovers. The scent may be faint, and you may end up really sticky, but that’s how you’ll end the night anyway, right? Sticky and with an ill-defined recollection of your actions.


Step 5- Show Them Your Pot of Gold:
This is a very important aspect of making love. Showing them your manhood can be more intimidating than your first “Black Out or Get Out” frat party. You spent your whole life working on that pot of gold – be confident. It doesn’t matter how big your pot of gold is, what matters is how you use it. Wear your pot of gold with pride, and make it bring in that change.


Step 6- Use a Latex Leprechaun Condom:
We, as a generation, have to be smart. STDs are a problem, and using a condom is cool. Having your winky look like an actual leprechaun is probably the sexiest thing that’s ever been said in a The Black Sheep article. Make your winky a winner; use those condoms.


Condoms are sexy, consent is sexy, and leprechauns are the magical creatures that promote both. When you’re a leprechaun, be safe with the powers you’re endowed with. Have a safe Saint Paddy’s Day, and get ready to get laid.




WATCH: We hit the streets of Chicago’s St. Patty’s Day Parade to see how woke people were.


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