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How to Get Your Money’s Worth Out of MSU’s Heated Sidewalks

We all pay some serious dollaronis to attend this school, so why not get our full usage out of the perks that come with it? We’ve compiled a list to ensure you get every penny you rightfully deserve out of the heated sidewalks, by doing things like:

6.) Start Your Own Hibachi Grill:
Nothing says happiness like food flying at your face! Invest in some onions and abnormally large chef hats, take to a flaming hot slab of concrete, and there you go, you’ve started your first small business.

5.) Free Hot Yoga:
Kick your endorphins into high gear and fight of that holiday weight gain in a fun and exciting way! Paying for IM West is a far cry from affordable when you’re living off the same packet of ramen for 8 days straight, but little did you know when you got accepted into MSU that you were getting your own personal hot yoga studio. Sure, you might get a few weird looks, but you’ll forget all about them when you’re rocking your bikini down in Fort Lauderdale this Spring Break.

4.) Kickstart Your Pancake Art Career:
Everyone’s seen those Facebook videos where a scary realistic Yoda drawing is made with pancake mix. “But I can’t afford a griddle!” you say? Look no further than the soles of your shoes. Mix up some Aunt Jemima’s and break out your handy dandy squirt bottle, you’re about to get famous.

3.) Heat Up Your Love Life:
So you’ve hit a post-Christmas lull in your relationship, and you’re desperately seeking a way to surprise your lover and reignite the flame? Save up your combos, throw them in a basket, and you’ve got your solution: a picnic. Bitches love picnics, especially when they’re on the banks of the Red Cedar.

2.) Show Off Your Funky Fresh Moves:
In this treacherous winter season, finding an ice-free sidewalk is like finding a seat in Sny-Phi at noon. Thanks to your tuition there are a select few spots for you to show off your talent. Throw down a slab of cardboard and start spinning on that noggin; who says break dancing is reserved only for warmer weather?

1.) Get Some Extra Use Out of Your Spartan Cheerleader Skirt:
We all know the pain of spending a fortune on an item of clothing you only wear once. Lucky for you, your summer apparel doesn’t have to wait around for the next football season. Dust off that sexy, short skirt and take to the streets; surely all that heat radiating from below will keep frostbite at bay.

Tuition is high enough, so make sure you actually get your money’s worth out of it. Who says heated sidewalks are limited to keeping you from slipping?

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