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How to Get the Nickname ‘White Lightning’ like Brian Lewerke

 

In the first quarter of last week’s 28-14 victory over Western Michigan, Brian Lewerke outran the entire Broncos defense for a 61-yard touchdown. In a post-game interview wide receiver, Darrell Stewart Jr., gave perhaps the greatest quote in Spartan football history: “What people don’t understand is Brian Lewerke is White Lightning.” For Lewerke to be donning such an inspiring nickname this early in the season could be a sign of good things to come for the rebounding Spartan Dawgs. If you’re out there wondering, ‘how do I get a sweet nickname like White Lightning?’, look no further:

 

Step 1— Run a 4.71 40-yard dash:
For comparison, Tim Tebow ran a 4.72 at the 2010 NFL combine. Anyone running faster than that is most certainly #blessed.

 

Step 2— Be able to ask the tough questions:

 

 

Lady Gaga? Katy Perry? What about @champagnepapi? Enough pop stars and more Wheelchair Jimmy.

 

Step 3— Embrace Michigan winters even though you’re from Arizona:

 

 

Subzero temperatures or face melting heat. It doesn’t matter. Lightning strikes in all climates.

 

Step 4— Don’t be afraid to call out the big shots:

 

 

While we’re on the subject: bring back the headphone jack, no one wants to buy your shitty bluetooth headphones.

 

Step 5— Be a man of the people:

 

 

The Super Bowl represents everything great about this country: Competition, entertainment, and binge eating.

 

Step 6— Be this guy:

 

 

In Brian We Trust.

 

UPDATE: 

Step 7— Be a fan of The Black Sheep because Brian is:

 

 

 

 

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