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How to Guess a Spartan’s Major by Their Tinder Bio

 

A Tinder bio can tell you a lot about a person—hobbies, favorite booze, how much said person loves to cuddle. One thing you can infer? Their major.

 

Bio 1:
Looking for fun time, with quirky dates. Love The Bachelor, my dog, and thigh high boots. 8k followers on Instagram + check out my Twitter @MSUl0v3sM3

 

tinder1

 

The first clue to this girl’s major lies in the word “quirky”. Words like “quirky” and “unique” scream “look at me, I’m different”. Her genuine love of The Bachelor shows she’s savvy about modern culture, and her reference to her social media seals the deal. A Communications Major.

 

Bio 2:
Gurllll I wish I were a derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves. I can tell you that the function of your ex was to get you ready for me. Come fix yourself up with me, cause I’m an Engineer and I fix things. 

 

tinder2

 

This is the same guy that you saw put a wad of napkins underneath a wobbly and then proudly announce that it was his status as an Engineer that enabled him to solve such a problem. Except he’s not an Engineer; he’s greasy-haired sophomore who recently declared a major in Engineering. 

 

Bio 3:
I love helping people, so let me help you! #premed #futuredoctor #hondurasspringbreak2017 #harvardbound

 

tinder3

 

This silly freshman hasn’t yet figured out what a major is. Until then, the plan is to proudly proclaim pre-med status until some upperclassmen who doesn’t quite like the glimmer of hope in the young pre-med’s eye breaks it to them that pre-med is not even a major. Afterwards, the silly freshman will declare a Human Bio major, and make jabs at Psych majors for the rest of their college career.

 

Bio 4:
“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something”— Plato. /// I love long walks with no destination, and the smell rain and freshly baked cookies. I love the way trees look when light shines through their leaves, I love sunrises and how still this beautiful world is before anyone is awake. And if you’re lucky, I could love you. ///

 

tinder4

 

Inflated sense of ego, long list of things they think are fabulous, and a Plato quote? — classic Philosophy Major. This one will have you swooning over poetry one minute, and the next will be telling you their elaborate metaphor for human conscious. Just hope that you swipe left before you are regaled with the tale of how their open relationship with their ex went up in flames, but it’s a total mystery why.

 

Bio 5:
20. Junior. Looking for a serious relationship, but not serious enough to compromise my career goals. MSU forensics. JMC.

 

tinder5

 

How do you know when someone is a James Madison Student? Much like the vegans and marathon runners, squad JMC is loud and proud. Even without the announcement, between the unbending career goals and debate team, there is no other college that could handle a driven little spitfire like this Junior.

 

Whether your Tinder match comes out and says their major, or just fits the stereotype well enough to guess, a major says a lot about your future beau. Not that we at The Black Sheep have room to judge, as none of us have gotten a Tinder match since 2014. But swipe away, Spartan, and we can live vicariously through you. 

 

Is there actual crack in Pumpkin Spice Lattes? Or is it something else?

 

 

Is there actual crack in Pumpkin Spice Lattes? Or is it something else?

 
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