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An Email from President Simon About Your Finsta

 

 

Dear Spartan Community,

 

On different occasions I have danced around answering questions about conduct that debases our community and calls our values into question.

 

Essentially, I’m getting really sick of your Finstas.

 

Don’t hit me with that “OMG someone else posted that picture of me!” bullshit. We’ve all been young and dumb, but we’re not dumb enough to post bigoted and incriminating stuff on the Internet for likes. I’m getting pretty tired of having to defend you against the masses when your supposedly innocent fake Instagram trash your reputation. Congratulations on never being able to get a job.

 

I miss when Instagram used to be simple. Remember when people used the Toast filter on pictures of ducks crossing the Red Cedar? Or when you could make your own fake locations? Simple stuff like that. Now, its all butt chugging, cocaine, and making your entire university look like the Deep South on a bad day. You can delete a post, but you can’t delete the amount of people who saw you snort coke and joke about it. Yikes, fam.

 

This is an anxious time for Spartans: a football team that mildly sucks, midterm grades coming back on D2L, and that one girl who made us look pretty freaking bad all over social media; all of this being brought to us immediately and unfiltered from your suitemate’s Facebook feed.

 

So I’m appealing to Spartans to pause and think before you post dumb stuff on the Internet. This weekend is a time of celebration, possible depression, and general debauchery. Go ahead and enjoy your depravity, just don’t post it on your fake Instagram. I’ve been dodging heated questions like a freshman walking backwards down the bike lane. I’d really rather not have to deal with anymore of your offensive antics. Why can’t you just post videos of you trying to juju on that beat or pics of your food? Let’s bring it back to the simple stuff instead of blatant racism.

 

Make the effort to recognize when you’re being an inconsiderate bitch, especially when you’re playing around with a fake Instagram. We’ve had a shitty season; don’t make us look even worse. Our campus is somewhere that students shouldn’t have to deal with your shenanigans, and where I don’t have to defend your dumb ass.

 

Simon out.

 

 

 

 

 

If you pregame the pregame then your life just becomes ones giant pregame:

 

 
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