Recently, Michigan State’s campus has seen a flood of students crossing one-way streets after looking both ways. The students, none of whom are engineering majors, are seemingly oblivious to the error.
Early Tuesday morning, a local supply chain major, Jon Rocys, was spotted by an engineering student, Patrick Meredith, looking both ways while crossing South Shaw Lane, a one-way street.
“God, that kid is such an idiot. I’ve actually seen him in the engineering building before and I was like, why the fuck is this kid here? He’s definitely not in my applied astrophysics atomic bomb chemistry class,” Meredith tells The Black Sheep while he tampers with a Rubik’s Cube and somehow manages to look constipated.
Meredith sighs, casually dropping a copy of Neil deGrasse Tyson’s Death by Black Hole on the table.
“I watched him look left to right 5 different times and there weren’t even any cars in near sight,” Meredith continued on. “I bet he would know that he only needed to look one way if he had taken my exothermic energy transport proton neutron electron crouton class. Dumbass.” Meredith stood up and threw his Rubik’s Cube at the wall and walked out.
The Black Sheep confirmed that Patrick was indeed, an asshole, and decided to see if maybe Rocys made a common mundane mistake and isn’t actually an idiot.
“It’s a natural instinct, I’m not dumb.” Rocys told us after talking himself through how to tie his shoelaces. “You never know what you’re going to encounter out there on the streets.” He threw up an uncomfortable-looking peace sign.
Our interview with Rocys was tragically cut short after he received an urgent text from his roommate explaining that he left his pants in the microwave again.
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