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MSU Supply Chain Management Program Ranked #1 In The Nation At Reminding You That They’re #1 In The Nation

For the fourth year in a row, MSU Supply Chain Management program has been unanimously ranked #1 in the nation at reminding you that they’re #1 in the nation. While this is a rather prestigious and difficult ranking to earn and hold for so long, it comes as no surprise to those enrolled that they’ve been able to dominate this position.

“There’s maybe two times a day I’m not talking about it: when I’m eating and and when I’m sleeping,” said junior SCM major Maxwell Speers with a chuckle. “Unlike a lot of schools, we have a rich tradition of just ramming this one single fact up your ass year after year, regardless of context, and we’d like to think that’s what sets us apart from the competition. By the way, did you know our program is ranked #1 in the nation?”

Upon further review, Speers’ comments align well with the Gartner Supply Chain Top 25 At Telling You That They’re Top 25, the service that definitively ranks a supply chain management’s program’s ability to constantly yammer on about what they’re ranked.

“I mean, have you ever heard these guys talk about themselves? Christ!” stated Gartner representative Lea Hughart. “The program is great, but in all my years of creating reliable indexes on how much a single program can be full of themselves, these folks take the cake.”

“We build our rankings by surveying undergraduates and graduates alike, then seeing how full of shit they are about their program’s rankings,” Hughart elaborated. “Obviously, it’s not as much when they’re towards the lower end of the scale but once you crack into the top three, holy fuck, those guys are overflowing with bullshit.”

Speers and fellow SCM majors are certain that their reign among the top of the polls will continue even after they’ve graduated. “I will never stop talking about this. Ever,” Speers vowed. “And, uh, hey, did you know we’re ranked #1 in the nation?”

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.

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