If you’re an East Lansing native, you know about the rundown, abandoned, perfect-place-to-hide-a-dead-body Thai Hut. That building has been deserted for years, and after having mourned the loss of Thai Hut far too long, the city of East Lansing has decided to do something with this asbestos-infected lot. We are proud to announce that the once-decrepit Thai Hut has officially transformed into Thai Putt-Putt.
For weeks now, students have been lined up all the way down Grand River for a chance to try out this new East Lansing attraction. Luckily, we got the chance to meet Jack Fey, the founder and brains of this revolutionary operation.
“This place has got the childhood fun of mini golf with the maturity of five-star Thai cuisine,” Fey explained. “It’s a hot place for underage freshmen to go on a date, ‘cause they can’t get into ‘Rama or Rick’s, but they feel like adults by having such a cultured palate. It’s crazy, because just three months ago this was every frat’s number-one spot to haze freshmen.”
He explained that his main goal was to weave together Thai cuisine to putt-putt as much as possible.
“So there’s 18 holes, right? Well each time you get one in, you get a bite of Thai food,” Fey stated. “By the end, you’ve had a full meal. This keeps the motivation up to get through the whole game, since a lot of the time people give up before they’ve finished their round. This way, we’re getting use of the entire facility.” His proud smile told us everything we needed to know and more. “Better than Cosmic Bowling at the Union, at least.”
Thai Putt-Putt’s ratings have skyrocketed, and the facility has since been reviewed on Yelp! by individuals such as ThaiGuy309 saying that “it’s good” and by Dinkelberg54, who reports “nicer than dying.” This new restaurant serves anything any Thai food lover could imagine from pad Thai to green curry to veggie spring rolls.
“If you beat the house high score,” said Fey, “you get a week’s worth of crab wontons. Oh, and off the record, I hear Tiger Woods caught wind of our wonton challenge and may be stopping in sometime next week. Honestly, I’m not sure if as a society we’re supposed to like him or not, but any publicity is good publicity!”
Students have been ditching IAHs left and right for the chance to swing golf clubs as employees kindly spoon-feed rice noodles into their mouths. However, the surrounding Thai food restaurants are struggling to compete with the entertainment and award-winning meals Thai Putt-Putt can provide. Reports have shown that this new introduction on Grand River is beginning to give No Thai! a run for its money.
“I was driving into work one day down Grand River, and I saw that No Thai! had changed their name to Please Thai!” Fey recalled. “It’s sad, but what can I say? Thai food and putt-putt go together like a cheesesteak eggroll and plum sauce. I’m just lucky I was the first to realize it.”
It may not be obvious, but these two pastimes are a match made in heaven. Try it for yourself and you’ll realize the chicken curry your mini golfing experience has always been missing.