As you finally become situated in your academic abodes, Michigan State has a surprise for you: it’s time to think about next year! In a disoriented panic, you smash that muthafuckin’ “Live On” button, even though most of you would prefer a cheaper option. Fortunately, we at The Black Sheep have some solutions to end your suffering that will also technically having you livin’ on.
10.) The Corner of Farm Lane and Auditorium Road:
Although rather crowded, this is a fantastic spot to really understand campus life. You get to talk to the Farm Lane walk sign all night, and you don’t even need an alarm, because you’ll most likely get ran over by some asshole on a hoverboard that’s late for his 8 a.m.! Warning: this may not be the prime location to watch porn, unless you’re an exhibitionist.
9.) B115 Wells Hall:
Lecture hall by day, movie theatre by night! What better place to live than the movies? And, better than that, you get to wake up directly in your IAH, so you don’t even have to endure any tedious weather or rapacious bikers.
8.) Your Friend’s Closet:
Be sure to warm up to somebody this year, and do it fast! If you play your cards right, you might get a whole closet just to yourself. A bit confined, but you don’t have to pay for housing, so who the hell are you to complain, right?
7.) A Classic, Local Eatery Known as McDonald’s:
Ahhhhh, those nostalgic days as a child when you went down those shit-covered tube slides at McDonald’s and said, “I wish I could live here for the rest of my life!” Not the best wish, but it may be a prime piece of real estate if you’re a broke-ass college kid! Just have your mom get you some Spartan Cash to live off of the dollar menu, snag some free furniture from a post-game riot at Cedar Village, and you’re as golden as the arches!
6.) The Library:
You’re on campus. You have work to do. You need ample space. We get it! Fortunately, libraries are notorious for putting people to sleep. Why not confirm the schema for everybody else and just stay there for the rest of the semester?
5.) On the Bus:
Sixty-five cents and you’ve got yourself a reservation at the CATA Suite! You can stay on the bus for the night, or just take a relaxing snooze by the CATA stops. Just be sure not to be noticed the next day by the driver – they’re very territorial.
4.) The Beal Botanical Gardens:
It literally is begging you to sleep there. They boast about their beautiful flowerbeds all the time – why not give one a nice test run and see where things go from there? Plus, it’ll leave you smelling fresh for class.
3.) The Pool at IM West:
Grab your snorkel! If you’re trying your best to be discreet about your under-the-radar living arrangements, sleeping at the bottom of a pool is most likely your best option. We’re sure it’ll go swimmingly.
2.) The Dumpster Behind SnyPhi:
Times get tough, but at least no one will be around to see you watching porn. That’d be trashy.
1.) The Train Tracks
It’s safe to say that by finals time, just about everyone will wanna cozy up to this beautiful piece of outdated transportation. Might as well join ‘em if you don’t have anywhere else to go, right?
Whether it’s a dumpster or a closet, you can be sure to find many suitable locations to remain in for the next few years of your college career. Go green and save that green!
Photo Credit: Sean “I Watched 2016” Vichinsky/Chase.
For those about to bid, we salute you: