We at The Black Sheep recognize that not everyone can slay colossal amounts of poon. While we do enjoy our demographic, somebody needs to cater to the weebs. We want them as an audience, so we created this piece in order to give them a place to feel accepted that isn’t Japanese Club.
10.) Roof of Hubbard:
How much better could it get? You’re twelve stories up in East Neighborhood, which is about 10,000 miles from anyone else on campus. Nobody will bother you while you’re six episodes deep into Neon Genesis Evangelion. Heck, you can even pretend to be a Gundam pilot with Hubbard Hall as your giant robot mecha-suit. Totally socially acceptable.
9.) A Tree Along the River Trail:
If you pose accordingly, passersby may just think you found a quirky new place to study your times tables. Nobody can tell you’re crying because Fruits Basket doesn’t have a second season, they just think it’s because that squirrel family is trying to evict you from their home. Please get your rabies shots.
8.) The MSU Library:
Pretty basic, we’ll admit, but there is a trick to this: you must find a study room with other people in it. Not too full; two or three others is the sweet spot. Make sure to breathe extra heavily, almost to the point where it’s uncomfortable, but resist the urge to rub your inner thighs. This way, you don’t have to use headphones and people might actually think you have friends.
7.) Kresge Art Center:
If you’ll blend in anywhere, it’s here. The artsy types won’t mind you mumbling the lyrics along to the opening theme to Ouran High School Host Club; in fact, they’ll probably be inspired and use you as their muse for their next piece. We hear it’s called, “Saying ‘Kawaii’ Non-Ironically.”
6.) Fee Hall:
Dead bodies galore! At least that’s what the rumors say. That means their cold, lifeless eyes can’t judge you for trying to integrate Japanese words into regular conversation and the half-baked explanation you give an annoyed professor who asks why you’re in there.
5.) Underneath the Bogue Street Bridge:
Amongst the graffiti and stoners is where you will find solace. As regular folk cross the bridge above, you can feel safe re-watching Fullmetal Alchemist episodes and relishing in the killer juxtaposition between the “normals” above and you, squatting underneath a bridge to secretly watch Japanese cartoons.
4.) Your RA’s Room:
They have to like you, or at least pretend to, and provide a safe space for all of their residents no matter what. Take advantage of their kindness, like any self-respecting human would. Their room is now your anime oasis – animasis, if you will – and they totally won’t mind you eating Pocky on their bed and bringing in stray cats that you swear speak to you.
3.) Upper Bowl Student Section:
Your phone reception has never been better, and you’ll be alone up there even on game day. Like seriously, you’ll be the only one voluntarily in line for upper bowl and fans below might just mistake your screams of agony from the Puella Magi Madoka Magica finale as cheering. Win-win.
2.) Center Ice at Munn:
“The best place to hide is in plain sight,” said your mom, probably, when she found your scantily-clad anime girl body pillow under your bed for the sixth time. We’re going to follow that logic as well. Pop right down center ice during a game. You’ll want to dodge the tricky knife shoes those winter jockstraps wear, because a slash wound could really put a damper on your Cowboy Bebop marathon.
1.) Visitor’s Bench of Spartan Stadium:
This is the best spot for you, hands down. You won’t ever see these nose-drips again, so who cares if they know your secret? You’re a weeb! Say it loud and proud. Also, coincidentally, this is where losers sit. No offense.
If this article inspired you to go out and watch some anime, then we can proudly say we sacrificed our targeted ads on Facebook for a good cause. Go out and make us proud!
If you can survive a tailgate, you can survive a zombie apocalypse.