Are you a freshman who lives on north campus? Do you hate yourself? Are you in EECS 183 and have night terrors about getting to north campus? Are you a theatre major that lives on central? Do you find pleasure in riding blue buses back and forth all day long, watching as students dodge them on South U. when the drivers don’t have anytime for anyone’s shit? Probably not.
Well you’re in luck. Here’s a compilation of the things you can do to cure your boredom so you don’t get blue-bussed again:
5.) Catch up with family and friends (and make new friends):
Text your mom. It’s been days, and she wants to hear from you. And you’re bored.Tell her about Tina Tuesday maybe? That random GEED you hooked up with last weekend? The 64 oz. Moscow Mule at Jug maybe? Okay, well, You’re not that bored. And if mom is at her weekly bunko roundtables, now’s a great time to catch up with friends. Don’t have a friend? Talk to the guy sitting next to you. You’d be SHOCKED at how many talking points a bus has to offer. Maybe you could ask him about his favorite dining hall meal. Or the worst experience he’s ever had in the MLB.
4.) Devote time for self-improvement:
Stimulate yourself intellectually as you take the 19-year long trek to the boonies on this fine Tuesday morning. Listen to an academic podcast (recommended: Booze Before Noon). Didn’t bring headphones? Pick up a book. Do you get motion sick while trying to read on a bus? Try knitting a scarf for the winter ahead. Don’t know how to knit a scarf? Well, looks like you can’t do anything intellectually on the bus. You could plan out the amount of time it would take you to order pizza house and have it delivered before the bus ACTUALLY brings you home. Maybe that isn’t really self improvement, more like gaining the freshman 15. Time to move onto the next thing.
3.) Eat a tuna fish sandwich:
Mmmmm. Fresh out of a can and smothered in between two older pieces of bread, your tuna fish sandwich has been dying to be eaten since you made it 40 minutes ago. Maybe you stole it from South Quad dining hall, but forget that it’s 9 a.m. Fish can’t tell time, can they? Whip out that sour-smelling sandwich and take big, overwhelming bites that are sure to impress your fellow riders. Plus, what’re you gonna do—not eat a tuna fish sandwich fast? Exactly.
2.) Turn your attention to your outward appearance:
You’ve got time to spare, but your unpainted toenails have gone long enough—time for a touch up! Another lovely smell to waken your fellow riders, painting your nails is a great way to get people to look your way and strike up a conversation (see number 5). You could always paint them maize and blue which is perfect for barefoot gameday fashion. Not your kind of thing men? Trim your nails instead! The bus is your playground and dumpster, and a few scattered hangnails on the floor never killed anyone.
1.) A combination of any of the above options:
You’ve got two hands: try eating a tuna fish sandwich and striking a conversation about bus death statistics with your seat mate. Giving yourself a pedicure and rocking out to Ira Glass’ nasally voice on This American Life has never been easier. There’s only so many combinations, and in about a month, you’ll be able to hit them all.
Give our podcast a listen on the bus!