In light of IFC’s recent suspension on all social fraternity events, undergrad students at U of M have been clueless as to where they should binge drink. A shitty fake ID will only go so far at the South U bars, and if to be honest, who has the budget to go to bars three times a week? So, if you’re like the rest of us, wondering where we can spend nights drinking cheap alcohol, here are some ideas that are probably more fun than a sweaty basement and elevated surface anyway.
5.) The UGLi:
This is a great place to get hammered on a Saturday night! No one would suspect you would drink while studying–because who wants to do that? The smell of your raspberry Burnett’s will be masked by the coffee of the students actually doing work, and your loud voice will be drowned out by their tears. Bring your backpack, your shot glass, and your dignity (just so you can lose it).
4.) The Blue Bus:
This is for those with a strong stomach, so if you’re easily affected by motion sickness, skip this one. Ever wish you could be wrapped up in a blanket at the bus stop in the cold temperatures? Well, now you can be! An alcohol blanket is your best friend right now. Your body temperature might be dropping, but your alcohol tolerance won’t be. Take a pull every time you see someone in a Canada Goose jacket so by the time the bus reaches your stop, you’ll be feeling warmer already.
3.) Back of your class in 1800 Chem:
Everyone knows this lecture room much too well. It’s where you go to take your dreaded orgo exam and sit through that boring AF physics lecture. Every student will encounter this room at least once in their life, and every student will hate it. So, what better way to cope with the misery than drinking through it? Your professor is so far away from you he won’t even see you shotgun that Natty Light in record time. And if you are in sight range, they will probably think your flask of Fireball is the newest release from S’well.
2.) The lounge of your dorm:
Every dorm has them: a place for students to study if they don’t want to make the trek from the hill to the UGLi or somewhere to complain about your roommate on the phone. Now, it’s somewhere to host a dope party. The sturdy, wooden table provided makes a great setup for a game of beer pong. If you’re in Markley, the lack of windows will create a space so similar to a frat basement, so your drunk self won’t be able to tell the difference. If a DPS officer tries to shut you down, insist they take a celeb shot and join in on the fun. It’s guaranteed to work.
1.) The Arb:
You’re in the fresh, open air surrounded by middle-aged families out on jogs with their Golden Retriever. This atmosphere sets the bar high for future parties you’ll attend. A frat party’s smell of stale beer and sweat can’t compete with the refreshing scent of Pure MichiganTM. And talk about that VIEW! Nothing is better than sipping on your spiked coffee while staring out into the beauty of Ann Arbor.
Instead of being stuck drinking in your tiny dorm, now you have a few options that guarantee a great time.
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