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6 Things You Won’t Miss About U of M over Winter Break

Here at U of M, we will miss many things over Winter Break: Harbaugh, Marky-Mark Schlissel, and yelling “His name is Dennison!” every time we walk past that building which shall not be named. But some things we won’t miss. And if you’re not sure what to miss and what to not miss we’ve put this handy-dandy guide for you!

6.) Waiting for Hatcher to Open on the Weekends:
We all know how it feels to wake up hung-over and hangry, grab a bagel and a coffee, and walk to the stacks to try to be productive. But if your day wasn’t going horribly enough, the doors are locked. Then you have to walk over to the zoo that is the UgLi and try to salvage what is now an awful day. At least at the UgLi you don’t have to leave the building to get more coffee.

5.) Feeling Obligated to Spin the Cube Every Time You Walk Past It:
One of the campus landmarks that everybody knows is the Cube, and everyone knows that it spins. And every time you walk past it with your parents, they make you spin it to show them that yes, it really does. This behavioral pattern gets ingrained in your head and every time you walk past it, you stick your arms out and give it a shove. But at home, there’s no cube, so there’s no spinning. Maybe you can break the cycle while you’re away.

4.) Not Being Able To Tell Everyone the Newest Harbaugh Story Because Everyone at School Already Knows:
Whenever a spicy bit of Harbaugh (Praise be unto him) news comes out, we all take to Facebook and Twitter to tell everyone how He drank 8 gallons of whole milk or something. The only problem is that everyone else at school already knows about it. But back at home in Not-Ann-Arbor, nobody knows the word of our God. Go forth and spread the good word of Harbaugh (Praise be unto him).

3.) The Dental Building:
The Dental Building, also known as the Labyrinth, is one of the most imposing structures on campus. You enter ready to get to your first discussion and suck up to your GSI, and then by the time you find your way out, it’s December and you missed the first two midterms. Nice job. At least you avoided the Minotaur.

2.) North Quad Calling Chicken Legs “Chicken Drummies”:
Picture this: You’re in your Thursday 4:00-5:30 lecture and your stomach is louder than Groove playing on the Diag. So you look up the menus for the dining halls. SQuad has nothing but weird vegan things and grilled cheese, MoJo has some weird type of meat and veggies, East Quad won’t have any seating, and North Quad has muthafuckin’ chicken drummies. Not “drumsticks”, not “chicken legs”, “drummies”. C’mon North Quad, we’re responsible adults here, call them something real.

1.) Being Disappointed When E Royster Harper’s Emails Don’t Have the Phrase “Use Bathrooms, Not Bushes”:
We all get excited when E. Royster sends out a new email and we all read it feverishly hoping that it uses the phrase “Use bathrooms, not bushes”. We haven’t gotten one in a while and we’re itching for more. At least over break, we won’t get any more emails to give use false hope.


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