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In Effort To Improve Campus Conservation, UM Decides To Never Refill Paper Towels In Ugli Bathrooms

At this year’s Sustainability and Development Conference professors, faculty, and students made great strides towards making campus greener.

First, the group tackled the issue of student waste. After deciding not to toss students from the Econ Department, Denise Illitch suggested the university, “buy some damn compost bins to make those hippies with a degree shut up.”

Second on the agenda was waste in facilities. Student Sarah Mitchell suggested leaving unwanted hats in the Diag so the squirrels can have a cozy place to sleep during the harsh Michigan winter.

One faculty member suggested never refilling the paper towel dispensers in the Ugli on purpose, since that was the least enjoyable and most time consuming part of her job. The attendees loved the idea. “Just slap an out of order sign on everything!”

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