Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, the human version of Ursula plans to take away the brass M in the Diag too.
Provost Reports say Provost Martin Philbert signed an order this past Tuesday, effective immediately. When asked for an explanation, Philbert responded, “I’m trying to teach these useless babies a lesson. They’re surrounded by incredible people and resources every day, and I want to show them that we don’t need all the razzle-dazzle. Also brass causes cancer.”
When asked what he would tackle next, Philbert stated he hoped to eliminate the Diag squirrels and therapy dogs because they bring too much happiness.
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