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5 Nervous Chickens Jim Harbaugh Has Encountered That F**ked Him Up For Life

Jim Harbaugh: coach, father, poultry skeptic. The Michigan head coach told former Michigan quarterback, Wilton Speight, to stay away from chicken because it was a “nervous bird.” Well, here’s something: Harbaugh’s fucking right. We were able to track down the five nervous chickens that fucked up Harbaugh forever and gave him good reason to be scared. 

5.) God-fucking-damn, this thing: 

And we’re told this is a mildly nervous bird. Jimmy, pal, we’re behind you. 

4.) Holy-fucking-shit: 

Jesus H. Christ, Ann-Arbor Almighty. If this came into the Big House, we’d stay away from chickens, too. 

3.) This is torture, please stop: 

Please, Coach, we all believe you, chickens are scary, especially the 2000 childhood classic film, Chicken Run. To think they almost killed Ginger with a hatchet still haunts us to this day. 

2.) Good god, they’re becoming one of us: 

Chickens in sweaters? What’s next? Chickens with shoes? Chickens with head coaching jobs at elite Big 10 football programs? Jimbo, don’t cry, we get you. 

1.) Nope, nope, nope:
Nope, not going to show this here, this is just too much for us to handle and Harbaugh to have to see if he visits the site. If you really want to see it (WARNING: NSFL), you can go see it here, but you’ll never look at poultry the same way again. 

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