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U of M Halloweek Missed Connections

 

Halloweek: The time where everyone dressed up in ridiculous costumes in order to get laid. All of us peacocks, with our best feathers on, trying so hard to rub our junk against someone else’s junk. But it isn’t always like that. Sometimes, a deeper connection is made, a connection beyond getting your freak on in a bedroom. This is true love, and here at The Black Sheep, we want to help those who missed their chance at love, so we’re posting some missed connection from this Halloweek.

 

I Was Harbaugh, You Were a Cat; Can I make it any More Obvious?

There I was, dancing with my friends, when I saw you from across the room, a really cute blonde girl dressed up as a cat. You had whiskers, a black crop top, cat ears, and leggings. I knew right then that you were the one. You were dancing with another dude but that didn’t really bother me. I walked over and started dancing with you when the guy left. We had a great conversation about my Harbaugh costume that was me in khakis and a sweater giving a machine gun to a worm. Then we did lot of shots and I woke up in my bed, alone. I need you.

 

To the Girl Dressed As the Slutty Cow

I saw you at Panchero’s on Halloween. You got extra guac and I thought, “There’s a woman with class.” Then I saw your udders. Oh my god, those udders. I was the cowboy staring at you from two tables over. We would be perfect together. One time, we were both refilling our waters and I said how nice it was to be out of the cold. You looked at me and asked if I was an out of state student. I said yes and you said “Good luck this winter.” I’ll be fine as long as you’re there to warm my heart.

 

Two Star-Crossed Nerds in the UgLi

You were one of the only girls in the UgLi on Friday night and I was the boy who sat at the table next to you. The way you went through that orgo coursepack was incredible. There were a few times I tried to get your attention, but the UgLi was so loud that you couldn’t hear me. You asked me to watch your stuff when you went to get coffee, but I got nervous so I just didn’t respond. I’ll be in the same spot tonight if you want to meet up.

 

To the Girl Dressed as a Cat Who Was Helping Her Friend, Also Dressed Like a Cat

I passed you by the Rock on Thursday night where you were dressed up as a cat helping another girl dressed as a cat. Both of you were brunettes wearing the same outfit and I couldn’t really tell you apart except you were the cuter one. You said you were on your way to Landmark because one of your friends lived there. I was dressed as Scooby Doo and your drunk friend said “Scooby Doo I love you” as I passed. If you want to meet, I’ll be at the Rock tomorrow.

P.S. If you don’t want to come, can you tell your friend?

 

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