As you finalize your spring class schedule, make sure that you are taking full advantage of the wide range of classes offered at UMN. In our quest to help you make the most of your time here at the U, The Black Sheep found these legitimate classes, but unfortunately somehow couldn’t find their class descriptions. Below are our flawless guesses as to what each one is all about.
10.) HIST 3418 Drink in History:
What better way to spend your parent’s money than learning how to justify your drinking habits with the humanities? History is the story of humanity, and that includes the story o fcountless people driven purely by the desire to be intoxicated.
9.) REC 3601W Leisure and Human Development:
This class is not only good for knocking off some of your writing intensive classes, it also highlights the importance of relaxation. When relatives ask you what you will do after you graduate, you can proudly explain to them that you are working on strengthening relaxation skills by binge-watching Making a Murderer and stuffing your face with leftover noodles from Bona.
8.) GLOS 3613W Stuffed and Starved: The Politics of Eating:
If you’ve use food analogies, or seen Chris Christie’s concession stand bill, you would know that politics and food go together like spam and poverty. Therefore, what better way to network than to understand how food fits into our complex political system? Try out this class and you will understand why we celebrate eating KFC more than we celebrate democracy!
7.) IDES 3612 History of Interiors and Furnishings 1750-Present:
Take this class to learn the importance of interior design throughout history and why the hell it mattered that people liked shag carpet in the 70s. Bonus: there’s even an entire unit of the course dedicated to teaching students how to justify taking this class to others.
6.) GWS 1002 Politics of Sex:
Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton. Kennedy and Monroe. Goldy and the Athletic Director. Real life stories about the sexiness of politics. Remember when a guy named Anthony Weiner sent a picture of his wiener? They can’t make that shit up, so take this class.
5.) HIST 3285 Magic and Medicine:
This class is for those intending to become magicians. You’ll learn how to saw your beautiful assistant in half, and then learn how to put her back together when you fuck up your magic trick.
4.) FSCN 1011 The Science of Food and Cooking:
This class is one of the best ways to get out of taking chemistry or physics. It’s worth noting that this might be the only class offered at the U that will give you techniques you will eventually use again in real life (so basically the opposite of calculus).
3.) SOC 4149 Killing:
This class teaches you how to not only slay your enemies, but also how to smite those that denounce you. Super good for networking and getting your foot in the door for your future career goals!
2.) ESCI 1105 Geology and Cinema:
If you’ve heard of this class, you’ll know that watching movies and discussing the scientific inaccuracies is a great way to be a shitty movie date. A pretty easy college-level science class that only does research via movies must be hard to certify as worthwhile, but it beats actually having to learn about science and you probably get to watch some Bill Nye, right?
1.) REC 3322 Outdoor Recreation Winter Skills:
This class will help improve your ice fishing skills as well as help you learn how to get to class on your cross country skis. For many, this class is rather unnecessary since ice fishing, skating, and snowshoeing are major parts of Minnesota culture. However, there is no real harm in getting a grade for sitting in a shack in the middle of lake waiting for a bell to ding.