Dinkytown is constantly bathed in drunk college students making terrible life decisions. The Black Sheep sent a crack team of unpaid interns, shitfaced on raspberry schnapps, to wander into Dinky and find the best places to eat when experiencing the drunken munchies. Here are the top eight Dinkytown drunk food places we found suited us the best:
Starting strong with Burrigato, it’s that weird hybrid Asian/Mexican place near the old CVS. Something clicks with drunk people and zesty food, and this place is extra chill with a great staff that won’t care how completely wasted you are. Only reason it isn’t higher is the price and the non-zero chance that spicy isn’t great for the vomit-prone (thanks, Mike).
7.) Annie’s Parlor:
Burgers and shakes are like the one part of the “American Dream” that’s still accessible to our generation, and Annie’s capitalizes on that. Wait times can be a bitch, so go at your own risk if you want to keep that buzz high throughout the meal.
The only chain restaurant on the list is here because it has big servings and delicious, fattening carbs. The inebriated are drawn to good queso cheese. A negative side effect is that you won’t be able to go to Chipotle satisfied anymore. Another plus is the extremely late hours, which makes it relevant even after many other options on the list are inactive; on a nighttime list Qdoba is easily third or second.
5.) D.P. Dough:
Another late-night option, D.P dough boasts that Italian delicacy, the calzone. It’s got great marinara sauce and big portions to eat the hangover away the next morning. Don’t even get me started on the delivery bonus it has, for when you’re so drunk that you can’t work your legs.
4.) Tony’s Diner:
Diners in general are the perfect location for the discerning drunk. Half the people in any diner at any given time are in the same boat as you are, so most diners are very accommodating. Tony’s has a great selection for all budgets, and you should consider it for any drunchie run.
3.) Shuang Cheng:
Asian food and ridiculous proportions is what puts Shuang Cheng so high. It’s like a meal that becomes three meals over the next two days. It’s a pretty big down-payment, but it’s just so cost efficient that anyone who can drop ten dollars is going to go away so full they won’t be drunk anymore, with two more take-home containers to boot.
2.) Insomnia Cookies:
Yep, cookies are just as awesome drunk as they are when it’s three o’clock in the morning. Put those two together and add delivery? It’s just absurd. Sugar coursing through the veins of a blasted college student is nothing to take lightly though, so consume with caution.
1.) Al’s Breakfast:
Breakfast food is the nectar of the gods to drunk people. Hotcakes and scrambled eggs are the least intrusive and most filling thing to a body full of booze. This honestly blows any other option on the list out of the water, WHEN it’s open.
So when then the mean drunchies kick in, and they will kick in, hit up these joints to satisfy that drunken urge to shove food in your face without stopping for air.
Can you complete the Vine Power Hour?