Students who live out of town CAN’T wait to come back to Mizzou so they can tear shit up and trash the place. They can finally be away from their parents and stop pretending they are good children. Students who live IN town CAN’T wait for those other students to leave so we can all do the same shit they want to do without overcrowding. Townies get the pleasure of staying in Columbia and continue to raise hell. And well, the cops aren’t going to sit there and twiddle their thumbs, you gotta give em somethin’ to do! The Black Sheep staff has put together a list of the 4 things townies LOVE about holiday breaks:
4.) No Line at Chipotle:
You gotta have it and you gotta have it now. You dread the drive there because there will be no place close to park and there will be an unreasonably long line from open till close. BUT WAIT. Everyone is gone and you have Chipotle. All.to.your.freaking.self. It’s a miracle! A light from the heavens beams down on the employee who asks “What can I get for you?” as a chorus sings “hallelujah.” It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen so you HAVE to come back every day just to be sure you aren’t dreaming.
3.) Bars Aren’t Crowded:
Rejoice, Fieldhouse is still easy to get into when everyone else is gone. If you want to run into all the kids that peaked while you guys were in high school, the bars are the best place. Even if you don’t want to see them, it’s pretty much unavoidable so you might as well get trashed off long island pitchers so you don’t have to remember it tomorrow!
2.) You Can Easily Streak Through the Quad:
If your inner nudist is feeling self-conscious about your Freshman 15 flab, fear no more! You will no longer be judged by that guy who zooms past you every day on his penny board. So go ahead, be free! As Kesha once said, “Lose your mind, lose it now.” Take off those clothes and let your inner tiger out of its cage, hell even let out a roar! No one will be around to see you flopping everywhere. But as Brother Jeb likes to kindly remind us, “Except Jesus, Jesus sees everything, so put your clothes back on you filthy sinner whore.”
1.) No Wait at Your Favorite Restaurants Downtown:
Restaurants like the Broadway Diner, Ernie’s, and Café Berlin are in high demand when everyone is in town. They are the best places to cure any hangover you might have, but with the average weekend wait time of 45 minutes to an hour, these breakfast places seem wayyyy less appealing. The warm feeling you get when you walk into the Diner and there are tables open might be better than Chipotle not having a line. You get special treatment when you are the only one eating in there. You become friends with everyone (or you already know them, because every CoMo townie know knows each other, right!?) who works there so maybe, just maybe, when they are super busy and you come in at the back of the line they will let you in first.
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: