It’s not everyday we Tigers consider summer jobs, let alone ones on campus. But we NEVER consider how the actual students feel who fill these positions… so The Black Sheep is here to tell you about everything you’re not missing out on at Mizzou while you’re out boozin’ it up all summer break long.
Yes, there are real-life classes in session. While they might not all be online, God-forbid some idiotic incoming sophomore chose to take an in-seat class and those lovely TA’s of theirs are the upperclassmen, graduate students at best. Poor kids. At least they’re making bank right? It’s a lot of grading, answering dumb questions, proctoring exams, and being the professor’s bitch. Not. Fun.
3.) Rec Center:
This “job” really doesn’t suck so badly when you think about all the benefits included. The pool is near for a quick dip at all times. We’re sure the facilities are probably free if you’re “working.” And who’s going to complain about watching ripped individuals lift weights? Not a damn one of us. They still have to spend a lot of time indoors, and that’s depressing when it’s 80 degrees and sunny, but hey, maybe they get a discount on ZouLife spray tans?
2.) Summer Welcome Leader:
These are our friends. These are our leaders. These are our bitches? That sounds a bit more like it. They are the see-all, do-all, be-all of the summer, and they have the hardest job of all. Welcoming the new incoming class of bratty, entitled, still teenagers, of 2021. Even worse, they have to do it with a smile on their face at all times. We feel for these guys; so if you’re on campus at all this summer, do them a favor and just try to look empathetic.
1.) Anything Res Life:
Last and most certainly, least, Res Life any and everybody… the ones behind the scenes, these teams work to make the dream work for sure. Whether they’re at the front desk, checking in on residents, policing the halls, or whatever it is we think they might do, it’s just that: EVERYTHING! These are the most underappreciated group of people on campus; if you know one, thank one. Period.
We just laid out the worst jobs on campus; do you think you have what it takes to fill their shoes? We didn’t think so either. So take your lazy, unmotivated ass, grab a beach towel, and layout at the Rec, where your beloved student peers will be sure to watch you and envy your summer plans. Bitches.
Like booze before noon? So do these guys…