Everyone knows the longest war in American history is the battle of MUPD and Mizzou star athletes. Can we blame the athletes though? Mizzou basically pays you to party, you’d be crazy not make a few dumb decisions. Here are some of the littest Mizzou athletes over time.
5.) Terry Beckner Jr.:
It wouldn’t be a Mizzou football season without our star player getting pulled over without his lights on and getting busted for marijuana possession. If that didn’t happen then did a Mizzou season really happen? Although in his defense, he’s was probably going to need a lot of that reefer to help the pain of his torn ACL. But c’mon, if you’re going to cruise a blunt with the squad please make sure you’re fucking lights are on.
4.) Nate Howard:
In what might be the trippiest partier in Mizzou history, Nate Howard brings home the goods with his interest in the magic mushrooms. It’s good to see the athletes branching out with their drug preferences. With only 15 tackles in two seasons, it’s pretty apparent that Nate was trying anything to better his skills and statistics at Mizzou. It doesn’t even end there: after Nate was arrested, he failed to appear in court and was subsequently arrested again, and later kicked off the team. Right there is a damn good party resume in anyone’s book.
3.) Jordan Barnett:
Not much of a surprise to all of us considering the recent events. Jordan loves his liquor about as much as a baby loves candy. NCAA tournament a week away? Fuck it! This is a perfect time for a DUI and a week suspension! The kid might as well start paying rent at Willies at this rate. Our advice to Jordan is drink all the hell you want, but maybe next time don’t cost us the first round of the tournament, and especially not to get into a car and start speedin’ n swerving.
2.) Dorial Green Beckham:
Perhaps the biggest partier in Mizzou athletic history, Dorial Green Beckham might have been the biggest fan of getting fucked up in school history. Reportedly, he got so intoxicated that he pushed his then girlfriend down a flight of stairs and has been quoted as saying, “I have been young and dumb.” This doesn’t even count the other two arrests for possession of marijuana. Maybe he should be smoking a little bit more of the reefer so he doesn’t have the urge to push girls down the stairs anymore, but that’s just us.
1.) Maty Mauk:
Who could forget about the infamous Mizzou QB Maty Mauk. When he wasn’t tossing bombs he was snorting lines “allegedly.” There might not be an athlete in Mizzou history that partied harder than Maty Mauk. The dude loved to hit the slopes in his free time, despite no mountains being around Columbia for a thousand miles. This is probably why we didn’t see Matty much on the field his senior year. Matty was a half decent quarterback, but man did he know how to rage.
That was a lot to digest, literally. From being a cocaine cowboy to eating the magic mushrooms, Mizzou athletes are a diverse group of partiers. The trend doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon, so cheers to another year of athlete mugshots.
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