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5 Texts That Prove You’re Thirsty AF for Mizzou Cuffing Season

It is THAT time of year again… the time when all the couples come out of the woodworks and remind everyone else how lonely they are. Being lonely in college sucks man. No one to walk to class with, eat meals with, snuggle with. You have to do all that shit on your own, and that’s sad. ‘Tis also the season for the thirsties to run around like chickens with their heads cut off, and their pants down, ready to go to town. For the single and not-so-thirsty people in the crowd, The Black Sheep staff has some screenshots of the thirsty ass texts to stay away from… and those of you thirst monsters who send them… tsk tsk.

5). The subtle pick me up:
Everyone likes being told they look nice. A text like this means you’re lonely, but also want someone who will watch movies and talk through the night with you. Unfortunately for you, the only thing you will most likely receive is a smiley face or just a ‘thank you!’ Don’t get your hopes up too high kid, there’s definitely someone out there with much lower standards.

4). Straight up lying about your friends being out of town:
You know damn well their friends are all going to be in town. They’re probably going to tell their friends they’re feeling sick or they’re going home for the weekend too. This is a kind of sly move, it could be believable, but also, how can every friend be gone? Now that’s fucking sad.

3). The bold thirst text:
Chances are y’all have been around the block before. If not, applause for the bold thirsty ass text. This is a person with nothing to lose; they’re thirsty and they know it. It definitely will take the receiver by surprise, but hey, pretty sure you’re gonna get some kinky shit texted back to you. The bold texts are a turn on to most. Let them know you’re out there and want a piece of that ass.

2). Late night text:
Nothing like getting that late night ‘what are you doing?’ text from an ex. You know it’s happened to you; if it hasn’t, be ready because it will. This is from the person with serious commitment issues but keeps texting you well after things have ended because you’re just too damn hot. Whatever you do, do NOT respond to this text, it’s the thirst trap of all thirst traps.

1). Subtle-ish Halloween costume pitch:

What kind of sexually frustrated person texts someone basically saying they should be a couple and then go as a sexual innuendo for Halloween?… what? This text is just weird and you need to set boundaries with this one.

If you’re feeling thirsty, drink some water, and think about whether or not you should send that text. Chances are you’ll send it anyway and it’ll get horribly awkward from there. Every time you see that person in the future, you’ll think back and feel like hiding under a rock. Especially if they never responded… ouch. 

 

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